Monday, March 11, 2013

What is Love?

What is love?
Since the dawn of mankind, that question has long been asked. It is a philosophical question that has no true, correct answer. The answer has been, is, and always will be different for every single human being. The answers of two individuals will never be the same. No matter how close two souls are, their answer will be, at least slightly different. The combination of thoughts, words, feelings and experiences of any two people can never be exactly the same.
The meaning of the word has been debated, argued, discussed and answered by billions upon billions of people. Since the time God chose to give Eve to Adam, the meaning of love has been a topic of conversation. The topic has consumed limitless volumes of the written word. It has been the topic of countless songs that have inspired and touched the delicately powerful hearts of people around the world. It has been the focus tackled by an incredible number of Hollywood movies and TV shows. The word is truly embedded in the fabric of our world.

Throughout my life, I have pondered the very question presented above. What is love? Love can mean so many different things to so many different people.

Love is the most powerful of all emotions. Love has the ability to control our thoughts, our actions, and our lives. And, that is not a bad thing. As a matter of fact, love is the most important emotion in my life. Love has urged me to pursue many choices I have made in my life. Love led me to play sports. Love led me to cherish my family. Love led me to your beautiful mother. Love led me to having each of you. And, love (& karma) led our Father in Heaven to send two of his most precious angels, TOGETHER, to a ill-prepared and inadequate father.

It has been said that "Making the decision to have a child - it's momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart walking around outside your body."

And, I never realized the truthfulness of that statement until I held each of you in my arms. As I stared down into each of your sets of heavenly eyes, it was, in that moment, that I realized just how strong love could be. As I held the two of you, the feelings of inadequacy, doubt, and fear melted away. Although those feelings would return (shortly & in full force), in that moment, I came to understand just how much my mother and father love me.
According to Webster's, the definition of love is "a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person." And, while those words are true. Love cannot exactly be explained. It must be felt. It must be shared. It must be experienced to be understood.

 So, in order for me to "explain" love, I must share my memories and experiences of love. Knowledge, coupled with memories and experiences, bring feelings that reside forever in our hearts. As shared above, my first moments with the two of you are captured in photographs. Those photographs trigger memories that are held in my mind. Those memories release rushes of emotions. And, those emotions urge for wonderfully special feelings of joy, excitement, and love. Those feelings will reside forever in my heart. They will be forever tied to those photographs and to each of you.

So, what is love to me?

Love can be an action. Love can be a moment. Love can be a memory. Love can be a person. Love can be so many things. Love is overwhelming. Love is amazing. Love is what makes life worth living. And, just when you think you couldn't be consumed with anymore love, somehow you are.

"You have within you more love than you could ever understand."
- Rumi

In life, being consumed with love is the greatest feeling. And, the amazing thing about love is that we, as human beings, have the incredible ability to share so much love. We can share limitless amounts of love. And, love breeds laughter and happiness...which, in turn, breeds more love. Life is filled with moments that lift our souls to unimaginable heights. And, these are the moments we live for.

"There are moments of such pure, sublime, unparalleled perfection that they will force you to close your eyes and hold on to them as best you can. Life is a series of these moments. Everything else is just waiting for them."
- Iain Thomas

Love is...
A father who gives his entire soul to his children. It's a father who struggled through college, working full-time, while raising his children. It's a father who sat by his son's bed side, hoping and praying for a miracle, as his life was slowly fading away. It's a father whose faithful hands provided a bridge to our Father in Heaven's healing power that saved a young boy's life. It's a father who sacrificed his own wants and needs so that his son could have a better life than he did. It's a father who wore shoes from Payless so his son could wear a pair of Nikes. It's a father with a sweet Caterpillar mustache. It's a father who set an example of love and respect for his family and friends, especially the mother of his children. It's a father that demanded a best effort. It's a father who wouldn't hesitate to discipline his children with a stern but loving ass chewing. It's a father who pushed a son to achieve great things in school. It's a father who cheered his son on everyday as he ran. It's a father who stressed everyday about how he would provide for the family he loved. It's a father who spent every dime he saved so his son could have a college education. It's a father who took calls at 3 a.m. from a depressed and broken young man. It's a father who stood by his son's hospital bed and would lend a listening ear, shared fatherly advice and showed unconditional love. It's a father who helped save a son's life.

Love is...
A mother who lives purely for her family. It's a mother who sacrifices every waking minute making sure her children feel loved and are taken care of. It's a mother that constantly rocked a crying baby. It's a mother who took an extremely sick boy from doctor to doctor desperately trying to find a cure. It's a mother who held him until a fever broke and until he finally fell asleep. It's a mother who took a boy to school, Boy Scouts, soccer games, and slumber parties. It's a mother who baked chocolate chip cookies and cooked dinners after long days at work week in and week out. It's a mother who taught her children to pray and love their Savior. It's a mother who stayed up late to help finish school projects and proofread papers. It's a mother who helped a boy become an Eagle Scout. It's a mother who helped a boy understand his first heart break and begin the healing process. It's a mother who supported her son day in and day out even when it was difficult. It's a mother who is always concerned with her son's well being.  It's a mother who sets an example of enduring to the end. It's a mother who never complains about her chronic pain although it is severe. It's a mother who just wants to see her children smile. It's a mother that loves to see her children happy.
Love is...
A brother who has always been an example to a younger brother that has always needed it. It's a brother who dressed up an unknowing boy in high heels. It's a brother who taught his little brother to play with Tonka Trucks and throw rocks in the lake when their dad was fishing. It's a brother who threw a plastic swing at his little brother just to see if he was paying attention. It's a brother who allowed his little brother to tag along with his friends. It's a brother who stuck up for his young brother when a much bigger neighborhood bully dunked him in the swimming pool. It's a brother who taught him to roller blade and let him win at Nintendo. It's a brother who taught him how to shoot a jumper and to listen to Matchbox 20. It's a brother who helped him grow both mentally and spiritual. It's a brother who graciously lent all of his clothes to his younger brother when he was on his mission, including his red Dickies, a farting shirt, and a Red Sox hat. It's a brother who has always been willing to lend a listening ear and share some helpful advice. It's a brother who is constantly looking out for his young brother's well being. It's a brother who is always willing to offer a buttercup, a cup check, and a noogie.

Love is...
A sister who spends hours just chatting with you when you need it. It's a sister who makes sure to tattle on you when you do something mean. It's a sister who never told anyone when you played house, Barbie's, or My Little Ponies. It's a sister who is always ready to go for a car ride so you can jam out to some music. It's a sister who will stay up late and watch Napoleon Dynamite with you. It's a sister that loves to go on late night Jack-in-the-Box runs for cheap tacos. It's a sister that helps an older brother through difficult breakups and gives advice on new relationships. It's a sister that is always there for her older brother through thick and thin.

Love is...
A beautiful wife that loves her husband with all her heart and soul even when he falls severely short of deserving it.
Love is falling head over heels for someone you just met. It's having an intense burning desire just to make someone smile. It's lending a listening ear and having your heart break as each tragic story is shared. It's helping heal a broken heart with a hug and a kiss. It's a hand that fits perfectly in yours. It's a pair of eyes that you can see your future in. It's fighting for what you want even when everyone tells you it's wrong. It's believing in someone. It's praying for someone. It's being willing to die for someone. And, even though it is new and scary, it's jumping in head first because you couldn't imagine a minute without that person.
It's a girlfriend that sticks by your side through the fight of your life. It's a girlfriend who reminds you take your medicine and relax. It's a girlfriend who calls you just to see if you are alright. It's a girlfriend who helps you pick out a best friend at the pound. It's a girlfriend who just lets you cry when you need to. It's a girlfriend that despite your flaws, your insecurities and your fears pulls you close and doesn't let go. It's a girlfriend that loves you for you.
It's a girlfriend that becomes a fiancee in a life changing moment.
It's a fiancee that painstakingly plans one of the biggest days of your young lives to perfection. It's a fiancee that shows you more love than you could ever imagine. It's a fiancee that starts walking down the aisle as the woman you love and ends as the woman you spend eternity with. It's a fiancee that then becomes a beautiful bride and an incredibly gorgeous wife.
It's a beautiful, loving wife that supports you in work and school. It's a caring wife that tends to you after surgery. It's a wife that forgives you of your short comings, transgressions, and pitiful mistakes. It's a wife that refines you every single day. It's a wife that makes you want to be a better man. It's a wife that helps you grow as an individual and supports your dreams. It's a wife that becomes the lovely, glowing woman carrying your future children.
It's the woman you love holding your babies. It's watching that woman as she excels as a mother and makes up for your shortcomings as a father. It's a blessing from God, an angel, in the form of a wife and mother that you could never replace.
It's becoming a family...
  Wife...Baby Momma...
"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength,
while loving someone deeply gives you courage."
- Lao Tsu
I am loved because I love. I am strong because I am loved. I am courageous because I share love.
Love is...
What I feel for the two of you. I cannot explain how deeply I love each of you. On June 12, 2012, my life forever changed. My heart found more love than I could ever imagine for the three most important people in my life. And, my life was forever changed.
Two screaming angels from Heaven turned me into a better person overnight.
And, while I need a much longer night in order to be the man you two deserve, I am striving to be the best dad that I can be.
As I see myself in each of you, I delight in the blessings in my life. And, as I watch each of you become more like me, I cannot help but wonder why I was so lucky to be blessed with two perfect little souls. As I count those blessings, my love for each of you runs over. My cup is full. I am blessed. I am loved. Regardless of whether I truly deserve it or not, I am loved.
"Love is but the discovery of ourselves in others, and the delight in that recognition."
- Alexander Smith
"Twenty fingers, twenty toes,
plenty of work, heaven only knows.
Four little arms to hold on tight,
four little cheeks to kiss goodnight!
Two miracles sent from above.
Two precious boys for us to love.
Two special lives have just begun,
two times the joy, two times the fun!"

 Since you two arrived, I have felt a transformation occurring. It is profound. Your little smiles, your lovable giggles, and even your cries are changing me. The two of you make me want to be a better husband, father, and person. And, I am loving every minute of it.
It was once written, "In many ways raising our children is a bit like taking helium balloons to a park to release into the vast blue sky. As with any balloon we release, their journey and destination are unknown and each so very different and we do our best to prepare them for their own journey...and while we haven't let go of the string, it is slipping away ever so slowly by the winds of change."
That beautiful process, while still in it's infancy, scares the living hell out of me. It begs the question of "What if I fail?" But, in the end, all I can do is share with each of you EVERY single ounce of love that resides in my body. And, it is more love than you can ever fathom. With that in mind, that brings me to the FINAL and GREATEST LOVE of ALL.
Love is...
A Father in Heaven who gave His Only Begotten Son to a cruel world, filled with hate, in order to save it, knowing that He, His Son, would need be it's Savior and that He must die for the opportunity, for the chance, for the hope that His children would come back to him. That is a perfect, indescribable and glorious love.
I am broken and yet God loves me perfectly and infinitely.

George MacDonald wrote, "I would rather be what God chose to make me than the most glorious creature that I could think of; for to have been thought about, born in God's thought, and then made by God, is the dearest, grandest and most precious thing in all thinking.”


I love you!



  1. Boston and Braxton,

    Your daddy is a good man. He loves you very much and hopes and dreams for great things for each of you. Papi loves you as well and desires the best for you also. We have a strong knit family unit. It provides shelter from the storm. We may not be perfect, but I think we are perfect for each other. Read the words carefully that your daddy has written to you. There is great counsel there. You have wonderful parents! PAPI

  2. Boss & Braxie,

    Your daddy has figured out the important "things" in life. "Life's most important things aren't things." In the end things don't matter.

    You have been blessed to have parents who love you so much. I have seen both of them in action and there is nothing they wouldn't do for either of you. They are doing a great job being parents.

    Your daddy has expressed some very kind thoughts about his family. I love and appreciate him. I have been around of these people all of my life and what he is telling you is true. You have been blessed with an amazing family who will love and support you no matter what.

    The Lord has blessed you and will continue to do so. As you grow, choose the right, be kind to others, love the Lord and your family, BE HAPPY!

    I love you very much. I love all my family very much. There is nothing more important to me in this life than all of you. We have each other and that is all that matters in life. Your family will make you mad at times but there isn't anyone who is more concerned for you than them. I am so happy when everyone gets along in our little group. The little things just don't matter. Keep the big picture in mind.

    I love you all, Nana