Wednesday, October 31, 2012

1st Halloween...

Dear Ketchup & Mustard,
 
Today was your first Halloween!
 
Halloween is a great time of year. But, you guys weren't as excited about it as your mother was. But, I am sure that in a couple years that will change. You guys will not be able to wait for Halloween to come around. I see our share of superheroes, soldiers, and other persona's in the future.
 
This year, we went to a Trunk-or-Treat at Sunset Pizzeria with Breanna and Brooklyn. We decided to dress-up as a family.
 
I was the hot dog, mommy was the griller, Boston was the ketchup and Braxton was the mustard.
 
Man, you guys are some good looking condiments.
 
Mommy made your costumes and Nana made your beanies. You guys were the hit of the Trunk-or-Treat. And, in the end, you guys had a great time.
 
Boston, you were a party animal and came home from the party ready for more.
 
And, Brax, you had a great time, but the party wore you out.
 
Halloween was great! We all had a great time. I cannot wait until you guys
are old enough to Trick-or-Treat because we are going to have a blast.
 
Love you boys!
 
Love,
The Hot Dog


Tuesday, October 30, 2012

The Bottle Service...

Since I was ten years old, I have called the combination of the sandy desert, the glitz and glam, and the neon lights of the strip home. For the past 18 years, I have lived in the Las Vegas area. Las Vegas is so different from any other city in the world. It flaunts its 24 hour service, its massive casinos, and its clubbin' atmosphere. It is a place of organized chaos and partying.

Living in Las Vegas, I have heard the term "bottle service" on a regular basis. As a matter of fact, daily...I see a billboard, hear a radio spot, or see a Facebook status update regarding the term "bottle service." Now, since I am a happily married man that doesn't feel the need to go clubbin' and a Mormon who doesn't partake of alcohol to boot, the term is lost on me. For years, I haven't had a reason to have any interest in a "bottle service." But, in recent months, like Will Smith, "my life got flipped-turned upside down." My life became chaotic. I never knew when I was going to sleep or eat. And, with all the craziness, a "bottle service" seemed like it might be a good idea. It seemed like something I needed.

So, on a cool Saturday morning in October, I went out on a mission to figure out what this "bottle service" thing was all about. I jumped in the Dodge Journey, cranked up the radio, and drove off. I wasn't exactly sure where I was headed, but I know it wouldn't be long before I saw an ad for a bottle service. As I drove, I let the wind blow through my hair. After all, there is a lot up there for the wind to enjoy.

It wasn't long though before I was gripping the wheel tight. A tan Ford Taurus darted up the on ramp at Eastern and proceeded to fly across three lanes of traffic to the fast lane...only to slam on her breaks to narrowly miss the taxi cab in front of her. She turned the wheel hard and the car skidded into the middle lane then she smashed down the accelerator to narrowly avoid being rear ended. She was hell on wheels and I was afraid. Maybe this whole bottle service things wasn't worth it.

I drove behind the Taurus keeping my distance. I had no idea what type of Evil Knievel move she was going to try next. The tan death contraption continued to swerve in and out of traffic. As I peered through the back window of the car, I thought I saw the Grim Reaper. I blinked hard and rubbed my eyes. Whew...it was ONLY a woman, but I probably would have felt safer if the Reaper, himself, was driving. She was driving while putting on make-up and brushing her hair while talking on her cell phone and singing Lady Gaga. I thought of "Alejandro" and it made me quiver but not in a good way.

I breathed a long sigh of relief as the tan Ford Taurus shot suddenly across two lanes of traffic and quickly exited off Warm Springs. It left a wake of destruction in its path, but like Jeff Gordon, I can miss a 20 car pile up and stay on the lead lap without a problem. In my back on my head, I heard Pablo say "Nice job" as he high-fived Tyrone. Then, The Backyardigans theme song rattled my eardrums. It was strange, but a lot of weird things happen in my head.

As I sped down the highway towards the Las Vegas Blvd exit, I glimpsed a billboard of a young lady smiling seductively while a strand of pearls in her mouth. I felt dirty just looking at it. In the right corner of the billboard, I noticed that it was for a dentist. Even in Vegas, the billboards for your dentist are dirty. The next billboard though made me completely forget about just how sexy a root canal can be. It was a billboard for a bottle service at the Tryst nightclub at Wynn. It was perfect. It was just what I was looking for.

As I pulled up to the Wynn, I got a little overwhelmed. Could I handle this? What was this bottle service all about? I dodged tourists after tourist as I made my way towards the club. I really wasn't sure what to expect. As I approached, I noticed it was empty. The lights were dimmed. It was dark. Suddenly, cries pierced the air and a young lady looked at me strangely. I was a little embarrassed. I was clearly out of place and now the crying had begun. I couldn't help it. She told me that they were closed and wouldn't open until later. I didn't know what to do and the crying wasn't going to stop. I asked her if I could use the restroom and then made my way there. I looked high and low, but what I needed wasn't in there. How was I supposed to fix my problems?

I had driven all this way, survived the tan Ford Taurus, and now this...

Seriously?

I rushed out of the little boys room and the crying still hadn't stopped. I was about to lose it. Really...no changing tables in the bathrooms...

Come on! What was this nightclub thing all about? You are going to offer a bottle service and not have a changing table? You cannot tell me that my kids were the only ones urinating on themselves. At any rate, I would have to just find somewhere else to change the diapers. After all, Boston, Braxton, and I still had about six hours to kill before the bottle service would be available. We couldn't wait to order some of that sweet Similac Sensitive. This whole bottle service thing was going to be awesome. I just wondered when all the other dads are going to show up...

To be continued...

Monday, October 29, 2012

How Did We Get Here...

DEAR DUDES,

I AM IN SHOCK!

HOW DID WE GO FROM THIS...
TO THIS...
TO THIS...

TO THIS...

TO THIS...

 TO THIS...

SERIOUSLY?!!!
 
HOW DID WE GO FROM THIS...
video
TO THIS...
video
TO THIS...
 
TO THIS...
 
TO THIS...
SERIOUSLY?!! IT'S CRAZY!
 
HOW DID WE GO FROM THESE SWEET QUIET HEARTBEATS? 
TO THESE WILD SCREAMS...
TO THESE HAPPY GIGGLES...
 HOW DID WE GET HERE?

The past four and a half months have been the most joyous, chaotic, and loving of my entire life. I couldn't imagine it getting any better. But, in the words, of Brad Paisley..."And I said to myself, it doesn't get better than this. No, it doesn't get better than this. And, it did."

Even though I miss my sleep, I wouldn't change it. I love my long days and my late nights with my little dudes. It is hard to believe how far we have come, and I cannot wait to see how far we will go.

I love you boys!

Love,
Dad
 


Sunday, October 28, 2012

Vistin' the Patch...

My Little Gremlins,
 
Fellas, today we took a trip to the Pumpkin Patch. It was the first time, in a long time, that I have visitied a pumpkin patch. I, honestly, cannot remember the last time that I visited a pumpkin patch. So, I was super excited to visit the patch with mommy and you guys. 
 
In the future, you guys are going to love the pumpkin patch. Today, you weren't so sure. Braxton, you loved playing with the hay. And, Boston, you thought the minature ponies were pretty funny.
 
It was a great day, and I cannot wait to bring you guys back in the future.
 

 
Love you guys

Love,
Dad

Friday, October 26, 2012

Trip to The Springs Preserve...

Dear boys,
 
Today was Nevada Day! On Nevada Day, we celebrate the day that Nevada became part of the United States of America. Nevada is called "The Battleborn State" because it became a state and joined the Union during in the Civil War. And, on this special day, I didn't have to work. I was able to spend the entire day with you guys. That is always the best. I wouldn't rather spend my days with anybody else. Family time is always the greatest.
 
For our special day, we decided to take you guys to The Springs Preserve. We were pretty excited to take you guys on a special day out. It was a beautiful day, and we had a great time. We watched a bird show where falcons and owls flew right over our heads. It was pretty cool. You guys were mesmerized by the birds as they flew around the room.

After the bird show, we spent our time looking at creepy crawlers and reptiles, playing games and watching short films, and watching the flash flood demonstration. We even saw Kennedy, Shane, and Aunt Riss there. Brooklyn and Bre also crashed the party and spent the day with us. All in all, it was a great day. I love you guys.

Love,
Dad
 

Monday, October 22, 2012

Giggles and Grins...

Dear Boston & Braxton,
 
"It's double the giggles and double the grins, and double the trouble if you're blessed with twins."
- Unknown
 
Just four months ago, I thought my smile couldn't get any bigger. But, as time as gone by, my smile has gotten bigger and bigger. It is amazing how quickly time has gone by. While we have had our share of long, tiring, and at times, frustrating days, we wouldn't change it for the world. While we have had our share of sleepless nights, it cannot compare to the amount of joy that you boys have brought into our lives.
 
As time has passed, we have watched you boys grow and develop. It has been incredible to see your little personalities  develop. You both are such happy, outgoing little boys. And, your handsome smiles melt my heart.
 
We cannot get you guys to stop smiling. Trust me, we have tried. But, when you are sporting some Jordan gear, it is tough to not smile.
 
It is very difficult to feed a smiling baby. The milk just dribbles out the side of your mouths. As cute as it, it makes a mess.
 
And, when little pirates make a mess, they get stripped down to their skivvies. But, even in just your skivvies, you  boys still smile.
 
And, sometimes...those smiles turn to giggles because if you cannot laugh in your underwear...then what can you laugh in?
 
And, when smiles and laughs wear you out...a nap is necessary. But, as soon as that nap is over, the big smiles return.
 
And, my favorite part of the day is when I get to see your big grins. And, lucky for me, I get too see double the grins and double the giggles. I get double the snuggles.
 
I wouldn't have it any other way. So, as the time continues to pass, I cannot wait for things to continue to get better and better.
 
I love you guys so much.
 
Love,
Dad
 
 

Sunday, October 21, 2012

Speaking Gibberish...

Dear boys,
 
I am on to you guys. Seriously! You will not be able to hide your secret plots for long. I know you guys have begun to speak your secret language to one another. And, I cannot translate. I feel like I shouldn't be left out of the group, but when you don't know the language, it is difficult to complain about. I wonder if you guys are talking about and laughing at me...but, maybe I shouldn't flatter myself.
 
At any rate, I will figure out how to translate you soon enough. And, when that time comes, I will know the secret to the universe...
 
...or at least the Barrow household.
 
video
 
I love you guys!
 
Love,
Dad


Monday, October 01, 2012

I'll Be Back...

I have been away for a while. I will be back to blogging this week.

In the mean time, follow me on Twitter @DoDoWipingDaddy.

DoDo Wiping Daddy is the new name of my "book" series that takes a humouous look at pregnancy and parenting.

Coming Soon!
"Until the Milk Squirts" and "Been There, Wiped That"