Barnacle Breath Burgoo Boston & Boot Strap Bucko Braxton,
AHOY, MATEYS! Avast ye! Blimey! Blow me down! It b 'bout th' hour to batten down the hatches. Jolly thin' b Ye abode b 'n shipshape. Th' poopdeck ben swabbed n' spit shined. 'Cause before ye ship out, me b shoutin' "Thar she blows!" Mema b 'bout three sheets t' th' wind. In a mere few rollin' tides, ye pair of wee scallywags gunna b 'bout redy to b walkin' th' plank. Me 'n th' lads ben waitin' fer yer voyage from th' doc so ye landlubbers can gather wit' us at th' port on dry land. Savvy?! 'Bout 2 turn o 'yer hourglass ago, th' wenches went kookoo bananas o're ye garb tha' ye gunna don as ye buckos pillage th' seven seas. Scurvy Dog Killa B plundered them pieces o' notorious garb fer ye buccaneers. 'Tis b pleasin' to th' eye! Lovely booty indeed! Shiver me timbers! Me lads b 'bout to release the Kraken 'n dead men tell no tales!
Weigh anchor and hoise the mizzen!
Yo Ho, Yo Ho! A Pirate's Life Fer Me!
Aaaaaarrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhh, b th' hour to b off to slumber!
Lust ye salty barnacle-covered scurvy sea-dog,
Cap'n Peg Legged Pops
*Loose translation of the letter above is below*
Boston & Braxton,
Hello, my friends! Listen up! Ahhhhh! Holy Crap! It is almost time! Good thing your room is ready! The house has been scrubbed and cleaned. It is almost time for me to shout, here they come. Mema is very excited. In a couple weeks, two little boys are going to be ready to be born. The family and I have been waiting for your arrival, so you can join us at home. Understand?! About 2 hours ago, all the women went crazy over the clothes that you boys are going to wear home. Aunt Britney purchased you some awesome outfits. They are pretty cool. Incredible gift if you ask me. Holy crap! My boys are about to raise chaos and we may not survive.
Lets get this show on the road!
Hey, hey! It is going to be AWESOME.
Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! It is time for bed.
Love your old man,