Saturday, May 26, 2012

Stroller Chaos...

The bright sun was shining down welcoming the young morning. As I passed underneath the "Happiest Place on Earth" sign, a large grin formed on my face. It was almost time for Indiana Jones and Space Mountain. I couldn't wait for the high speed twists and turns to begin. I hopped quickly to the ticket counter attempting to contain my excitement. That joy was quickly replaced by an empty wallet. I think I may have also lost an arm and a leg in the process. But, that didn't matter because I was about to enter the Magical Kingdom. It was time for Disneyland.

Excitedly, I skipped down main street eager to get my hands on my first overpriced sugary piece of heaven. The churros were calling my name. As I sauntered in front of Sleeping Beauty's castle, the churro cart was within sight. My time in heaven was about to begin. As I stepped towards the cart, a stroller came rushing in from the left halting my pursuit of sugary delight. I stopped in place as a double jogger stroller came flying at me from the right. A single stroller was on my six and another one was coming at me head on. The sky turned an angry black as the happiness disappeared. Stroller after stroller zoomed past me. I used my best James Bond roller and narrowly missed getting hit by another. The strollers were overtaking me. My end was near. I laid in the fetal position, overwhelmed, as the strollers surrounded me.

I covered my eyes in fear. This was the end. I ventured one last brave peek through my spread fingers as the strollers closed in. To my horror, every stroller was being pushed by the same bald, overweight, and slightly good looking guy. It was me!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

I jolted out of bed in a cold sweat as my heart pounded. This wasn't happening. Was I about to become a Stroller Nazi? Was my time as part of the Stroller Mafia about to begin? Fear consumed me. I was about to become a stroller pushing ninny.

I could see it now...my Stroller Nazi 'self' aggressively pushing my stroller down the sidewalk sending pedestrians diving for safety. On Saturday morning walks with friends, we could join forces as the Stroller Mafia...putting our strollers together to block any possible passage. The sidewalk, park, and malls are no longer safe. Leather vests with awesome patches are in my future.

And, I am the reason why. Watch your ankles. Look out...because I am on the loose.

And...with two babies...it is about to get worse. That is why we got the Cadillac of baby strollers.
LET THE STROLLER CHAOS BEGIN...

1 comment:

  1. The Cadillac is the beginning. Wait until you go to the store and everyone wants to (in my eyes) ride in the Cadillac. Scary!

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