Saturday, March 31, 2012

Be Prepared...

After attending Kindergarten at the prestigious Shelley Elementary in American Fork, Utah, on a finger painting scholarship, I knew that I was going to be great. After all, I was the "Gator's Student of the Month", had one week of perfect attendance, and got two gold stars for my finger painting titled "Monkey Wielding the Flaming Sword of Doom While Riding on the Back of a Majestic Unicorn". Catchy title I know. The original masterpiece is hanging in the Smithsonian and is guarded nightly by Brunden...if you don't know who Brunden is, I don't have time for you. If you can't see the monkey, the flaming sword, or a unicorn then you obviously don't have any imagination at all, and I feel sorry for you.

Needless to say, art is in my blood.

After Kindergarten, I held the world in my hands. So, growing up, I had some huge aspirations. After all, my parents always told me that I could be anything I wanted to be. Now, that is one load of crap that I won't tell my boys. It gives false hope, because no matter how hard I worked, I could never be a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle. It just wasn't in the cards for me. A GI Joe was a possibility, maybe even a Thundercat, but a Ninja Turtle was out of reach. So was a Transformer! No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't change into a cement truck. That's right, I am the guy that chooses to transform into a cement truck, and why not?

Looking back on it now, I couldn't grow that thick of a moustache, so GI Joe was out of the question.

With that, I changed my aspirations, and they were huge. That's right, I was a real go-getter. I aspired to beat Super Mario Bros. 3 on Nintendo without using a warp whistle. I know what you are thinking..."Justin, that is absolutely crazy". But, I am a rebel gamer...that's how I do things. So, after countless hours of smashing goombas, kicking turtle shells, and sliding down green pipes, I completed my goal and felt like Leonardo DiCaprio when he screamed, "I am the King of the World". PS: I am still awaiting the check from James Cameron for stealing my line and using it in Titanic. I vividly remember standing on my couch, the box fan pointed at my face, arms spread, and screaming that same line after I saved Princess Peach from Bowser's evil grasp. And, this was far before 1999. They owe me a piece of the pie.

My aspirations didn't stop there, even though they could have after achieving such a lofty goal which I still put it on my resume in the skills section...Completion of Super Mario Bros. 3 without using a single warp whistle. More often than not, it really "WOWS" the person hiring. After my Mario exploits, as completed as I felt, I knew there had to be more to this little thing we call life.

With Mario completed and my hopes of being a Transformer, GI Joe, Thundercat, or Ninja Turtle dashed, I had to find other avenues. Who knew that a trip to Disneyland would change my aspirations. One night while waiting in line for the ride Pirates of the Caribbean, it clicked. I could be a pirate; a swashbuckling, scurvy sea dog, pillaging and plundering the Seven Seas. I could hunt treasure and become the most notorious pirate in history. As these thoughts were crossing my mind, I glimpsed a Chinese man holding up a multi-colored light saber in the air and walking swiftly towards Splash Mountain. The light saber gleamed like a beacon, a lighthouse, leading the way. On his heels trailed what appeared to be a nation of Chinese followers. That was it, I could be a tour guide. So, there I was, at the age of 8, deadlocked on whether I would be a pirate or a tour guide in the future.

For those of you that know me, you know I never became a pirate due to the fact I get seasick and cannot even ride a Waverunner at Lake Mead without vomiting. And, the tour guide thing didn't pan out. It seems Asians want to follow Asians...who knew? All the time spent honing my skills was wasted or so I thought.

I tell you that long winded story to get us to the point I actually want to share. Sorry, it takes me a while to get there sometimes.

Have you ever had an embarrassing moment that you will never forget?

We all have. In some, we are embarrassed for ourselves. In others, we are embarrassed for someone we love. And, sometimes, we are just embarrassed and we aren't sure why.

Funny thing about pregnant women, they have to urinate all the time. They need the restroom early and often. When the urine is ready to flow, it is now or never. Since this is our first pregnancy, I am still learning. I wasn't prepared. Being an Eagle Scout, you would think I would follow the motto of "Be Prepared", but I didn't. And, the result was urine on the floor of Aisle 6 of Hobby Lobby. This unfortunate accident lead me to utilize the skills I developed in pirating and tour guiding.

Once again, I had a mission. For the next two days, I wandered around stores and restaurants in Boulder City, Henderson, and Las Vegas. I never purchased anything. I was just the creepy guy walking in places with a notebook jotting down who knows what on a pad of paper. I went to Applebee's, Michael's, Wal-Mart, Target, Baby 'R' Us, McDonald's, Five Guys (may have purchased something there), and countless other places. All in the name of not having urine spilled on Aisle 6 again.

At this point, I know where every bathroom is in seven zip codes. I can tell you where the nearest bathroom is to your current location at anytime. I can tell you how many paces it takes to reach said bathroom and let you know how many stalls it has. I can tell you what type of toilet paper they use and give you a cleanliness rating from 1-10. At his point, I am prepared. No more urine will be spilled on my least not for another 10 weeks or so...

From now on "X" marks the stall.

PS: I may or may not have prejuried myself regarding urine on the floor at Hobby Lobby. At this point, my lawyers have instructed me to plead the 5th.

Thursday, March 29, 2012

What About Me...

What about me?!!

You laugh, but I am serious

What about me?!!

On a daily basis, I ask myself that question. Sometimes, I am angry. Sometimes, I am frustrated. Somtimes, I am emotional. But, in all seriousness, "What about me?!!"

Being pregnant is hard. I know. I am pregnant too. I have gained weight. I am always hungry. I can't sleep. I'm tired all the time. I cannot get comfortable. I toss and turn at night. My body aches. I cry for no reason. My feet are swollen. I pee constantly. And, I feel like a planet orbitting the sun. See, I'm pregnant too...I have all the symptoms...well, minus the babies.

So, again, the question remains, "What about me?!!"

This is a question that guys have secretly asked for years. Be honest, I am not the only one that is ashamed of this fact...but willing to admit it. I mean, think about it. It has been and always will be about the woman. Forever! We have to chase them. We have to ask them out. We have to pay for the dates. We have to propose. Then, the wedding comes. At the wedding, we could not even show up and the result would be the same. No one wants to see the groom, everyone wants a glimpse of the bride. But, it doesn't stop there.

Now, that my wife is pregnant, the question always is..."how is your wife?" or "how is the wife feeling?" It is never about me. No one ever asks me how am I feeling. And, like I said before, I'm pregnant too.

PS: Please don't ask me how I am doing!

PS+S: Thank you to everyone who continues to ask how Meagan is. We really appreciate it.

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

If I Tell You...

**A Typical Trip to the Grocery Store**
(as relayed by my wife)...

Cold, bitter, judging eyes gazed upon my body as if I were a species of mutant or an alien from a isolated, remote planet in a galaxy far, far away. As I waddled, shuffled, wobbled, and hobbled, I could sense the piercing stares growing with each step. The ogling came from every direction. The gawking was beginning to get to me. I felt uncontrollable anger boiling inside me as I held back the tears. The waterworks were about to start, and the terrifying sobs that pierced the airways just yesterday when the car's side view mirror broke were on their way...regardless of what the Department of Homeland Security had to say about it. Yesterday the cries alarmed the Air Force, Army, Navy, and Marines. So, as much as I wanted to cry, sob, and scream, I couldn't afford to be considered a threat to national security again. Captivity for another 24 hours just wouldn't suit me. And, I am not really a fan of the ankle bracelet.

My mission was essential. I could NOT fail. This truly was a life or death mission. If I did not succeed, I would be better off going off the grid. Making a run for Mexico and then to a non-extradition country would be my only hope for survival. But, failure was not on my mind. This was just one of many missions that left me meandering through Albertson's frozen food section at 11:21 p.m.! Why 11:21 p.m.? I can't tell you or I would have to kill you. This tape will self destruction in 10 seconds...

As I moseyed past the Albertson's brand, past the Breyer's, past the Dreyer's, (really Breyer's and Dreyer's...someone is a thief) past the Haagen-Dazs, and past the Top Hat (Not even sure what that is or if it is editable)...I may or may not have stopped for a popsicle along the way. I pushed forward, a little short of breath, to the Ben & Jerry's. My mission was almost half over as I felt the frosty air upon my face as my hand, slightly shaking and sticky from dripping popsicle, grasped a pint of Red Velvet Cake ice cream. Carpe diem! It was MINE..all MINE! I should have just grabbed the Red Velvet Cake ice cream and immediately retreated to the safe house, but it just didn't happen. My eyes glimpsed a pint of Chunky Monkey, but it didn't stop there. Brownie Batter, Banana Split, Cake Batter, Cheesecake Brownie, Cherry Garcia, Cookie Dough, Chubby Hubby and numerous other flavors somehow found their way into my shopping cart. They joined my army of snacks; pickles, Snickers, Reese Peanut Butter Cups, Nacho Cheese requiring only a spoon, Olives, and those little Mexican candy bars that are better once they are in the freezer. It was time to leave as my window was running out. Still, that didn't stop me for stretching out my sticky hand for one last pint of ice cream. After all, I didn't want to return to this place of cream filled paradise again tonight. My hand cupped a pint of Schweddy Balls, and with that, I realized I had a problem (not nearly as funny as what I wanted to write...but this is a publicly search able site on the Internet).

As I struggled to waddle away from the glorious pints of heaven, I saw my reflection surrounded by pints of all flavors. Look at hair was a mess. The bags under my eyes had darkened, and I might have caught a peep of a wrinkle on my left cheek (on my face, not my butt...geez people). My lips were red and my tongue was blue from the Firecracker popsicle I indulged in minutes earlier. I was clad in pajama pants featuring the likes of dancing monkeys wearing sombreros, but I didn't stop there. I was here to make a fashion statement. Just below my dancing monkeys, I sported some spotted pink socks(undoubtedly changed from white in a washing machine accident) with some brown flip flops. Yes, socks and sandals...hello 1981! As my eyes ventured upwards, I saw the pinnacle of my ensemble, a fluorescent green NKOTB tee. If you don't know what NKOTB is...then I don't have time for you. My awesome tee featured a portion of my lunch, some of my leftovers from dinner, and a smidgen of my 9 p.m. snack. This beautiful display of stains and food residue accompanied my growing belly. I had put hours of work placing the final touches on my get-up!

Using my shopping cart as a crutch, I made my trek to the checkout. It was long and tedious, but this mission had to be completed. The eyes were on me once again. I could feel the stares as they consumed me. "Judge me," I thought...really? As I rolled up to the 20 items or less line, the clerk eyed me with a disappointing gaze. She looked in my basket and then at my belly. "This line is for customers with less tha...," she said. My "stink-face" interrupted her cruel words. Or maybe it was the tears that started to form in my tired eyes. But, most likely, it was the indescribable, ear drum shattering noise that began to leave my mouth. It was an eerily similar sound to an African Bull Elephant in labor that I had once seen on the Discovery Channel. At any rate, she changed her tune really quick, and she was lucky she did. She didn't want to mess with me in my current, overemotional, extremely illogical, slightly unstable, and certifiably psychotic state. It was better for the sake of national security that she didn't test me.

The collection of ice cream, candy bars, pickles, olives, nacho cheese, and Little Debbie snack cakes set me back a few Bennies, but the mission was a success. I was leaving with a smile as I proudly flaunted my rounding belly as it protruded from underneath my styling tee. People would stare. They would gaze, they would gawk, they would ogle, they would judge, but in the end, who cares?! After all, I'm pregnant!

That's right...I am PREGNANT. I could shout it from the rooftops. I am PREGNANT with TWINS!!!

In the safety of my car, I blasted some George Michael 'Father Figure' and sped off. I was pulling into my subdivision roughly "OH-19 minutes" after I departed. I had been given strict instructions to be back in less than 20. I sped around the corner, tires screeching as children dove for safety. My eyes were glued to the clock as each second ticked away faster than the one before. I saw the garage door start to inch downward. This was it! A decision had to made...either I smash down the accelarator, aim the wheel for the garage and hope I slip haphazardly beneath its closing jaws -OR- I turn around now, never look back, and make the run for Mexico where I meet up with a guy named Pablo who will fly me to the jungles of Peru. Sure, they would chase me, but I could live off the grid in secret. The decision must be made in an instant. A warm smile flashed in my mind and I gunned it for the garage. The scent of burning rubber filled the air as innocent on-lookers turned their heads in horror. Sparks jumped into the atmosphere as the garage door knicked the end of my Dodge Journey. I screeched to a stop just before I hit the wall. I had done it! Carpe diem! There seems to be a theme here...

I sat there in the darkness of my lair; the smell of burnt rubber, urine, and the scent of Little Debbie snack cakes that I opened on the way home filled the air. Suddenly, the door opened. It was my master! My master looked pleased, turned to the side, and rubbed her growing belly. "We all SCREAM for ICE CREAM!" She smiled as I unloaded the bags of goodies and handed off a pint of Ben & Jerry's Banana Split ice cream with a can of Nacho Cheese. She sat down on the couch happily and began to indulge. "You made it just in the nick of time hunny! You were almost better off running to Mexico," she laughed.

I smiled nervously and thought to myself..."you don't know how close I came." But, instead, I replied, "Give me a break, I'm pregnant with twins too, you know."

To which she replied, "Hunny, I need a fried Twinkie to dip in this nacho cheese".

And, with that, I had been tasked with another mission. My life and national security hung in the balance, and, like before, I would not fail. As I grabbed my keys, I thought to myself..."Where in heck can I get a fried Twinkie at 11:41 p.m.?" Why 11:41 p.m.? I can't tell you or I would have to kill you!


Tuesday, March 27, 2012

I Am Not Alarmed...

Dear readers (men and women alike),

Time for a little advice...

Advice...I am not sure if I ever have any good advice to give, but I'll give it a shot anyways. Maybe I will get lucky!


When Meagan got pregnant, I started reading a book to prepare me with helping her throughout her time carrying the boys around. It is truly a life changing experience to go through together. Meagan and I have grown closer and closer everyday as we have shared the news of upcoming arrivals, prepared the nursery, visited the doctors office, looked at ultrasound pictures of the boys, and talked about how our lives are forever going to be changed for the better due to their arrivals. It is a busy, stressful time that is also filled with excitement and happiness. However, there are a lot of things to prepare for. With that in mind, I dove into a book that every expectant father should read.

"Beware of the flurry of emotionally driven, sometimes hostile hormone attacks that invade and control, by impulse, the joy, sorrow, reverence, hate, grief and love of an expectant woman. Because of these powerful and complex occurrences, a need has arisen - a need for sympathy, a need for adaptable communication, a need stamped in the hearts of all pregnant women that screams, 'understand me! Please!'"

With a warning like that, I couldn't help but read it. And, it has made a world of difference. It gives serious tips in a light hearted and humorous manner. He goes on to say "By educating the pregnant male, I will dismantle the communication barriers that have been constructed by what I call the 'hormone hobbits.' Those busy little emotional trolls pop up at will with only one agenda: to confuse."

Lucky for me, Meagan has not had too many "hormone hobbits" for us to deal with. Well, except when she broke the car mirror by hitting the trashcan as she backed out of the garage. She called my sobbing uncontrollably. I thought she killed someone. All she could get out, between the manic, pulsating, ear wrenching, painful sobs was "When...*high pitched sob*...I...*nasal sob*....was...*ear drum shattering sob*...backing...*slightly controlled sob*...out...*louder sob*...I...*even louder sob*...hit....*uncontrollable sob*.......*sobbing, sobbing, and more sobbing*.

I have heard dying animals on the African Plains that are being torn apart by lions (nice visual) make less noise. From what I have heard, Vietnam War Veterans (bless them) have nightmares about my wife's sobs. People voluntarily locked themselves in the solitary confinement section of maximum security prisons to avoid hearing her cries. I am not exaggerating, as I am not known to exaggerate.

So, there I am...on the suspense. Wondering, just wondering, if my children were going to be born in a women's prison. Because, from what it sounded like, my wife must have just went on a rampage. She must have lost it and went off the deep end...again (the first event was sticken from the record). She must have mowed down a group of children as they were walking to the school bus. In no way am I purposely poking fun at serious and horrible accidents. I am just trying to put in perspective the fear that overcame my body as I experienced the sobs shattering my ear drums. I was not sure if a demonic possession had occurred or if it was some sick, twisted prank call. I half expected a little clown to roll up on a tricycle behind me while a matching, terrifying puppet appeared on my computer screen and uttered the words, "Wanna play a game?". And, to be honest, at that point, I probably would have chosen the game. I would have gladly left my iPhone at my desk and followed the clown into whatever dark, damp, twisted room he instructed me to go into.

But, I love my wife. Too much maybe...just kidding! I could never love her enough. So, as I pondered if and how often they would let me visit her while she was in the "joint", the "pen", the "big house", the "slammer", the "clink" or whatever you want to call it, a tear, just one...because I am tough, filled my eye. Yes, just one eye! Real men cry, but they only use one eye for that purpose. The other eye is strictly used to look out for an ambush by ninjas, assassins, and pirates. Like I always say...that combo of killing machines will never get the upper hand on me. Like Chuck Norris, I sleep with one eye open.

My thoughts were suddenly interrupted by what sounded like an African Bull Elephant giving birth. The painful sob was once again my beautiful, loving wife. I may lose my hearing, but, at least, I can still look at her. She started...AGAIN... *African Bull Elephant in labor sob*...I...*hyperventalating sob*...was...*not sure how to describe it sob*...backing..."

At that point, I remembered Tip #4: Think Before You Respond to a Pregnant Outburst. "Men, when she begins to cry over what seems to be a very insignificant thing, STOP AND THINK!" As good as this advice have to remember that I still do not know what she did. She could have spilled the milk. She could have forgotten her lunch. She could have thought her hair looked silly. She could have remembered a time in 6th grade when she cheated on a math test. She could have run over a litter of puppies. She could have set fire to the entire Amazon rain forest. I didn't know! So, in this case, the problem was that I had time to "STOP AND THINK". But, I had no idea what in the heck I was supposed to be thinking about.

With that, I remembered Tip #5: Second That Emotion. "She may begin to be unstable in areas in which she used to be pretty solid, forgetful where she was usually on top of things, frustrated where she used to be quite calm, sad for no reason and she may even start to cry right out of the blue. Don't be alarmed!" Yeah right! At that point, I am thinking...if the zombie apocalypse started right now, I wouldn't be alarmed. If suddenly spiders the size of horses started meandering down the streets, I wouldn't be alarmed. That's right...very large spiders meander...look it up. If 2Pac, Biggie, Eazy E, Johnny Cash, Elvis, John Lennon, Amy Winehouse and Whitney Houston appeared in front of me and began belting out a new collaboration that was dedicated to me and titled "Don't be alarmed!"...I wouldn't be alarmed. But, when sounds that could easily be mistaken as the cries of millions of innocent, cute and cuddly baby seals as they are slaughtered emanated from my cellular device, I was ALARMED! So, tip #5, shame on you! You had failed me just like the one that came before.

Then, it hit me. Literally, the book fell off the shelf at my desk at hit me right in the face. The sound waves from my phone were so strong that they knocked the book down. It was like an epiphany. As the book attacked my large, slightly crooked, possibly still broken noise, the #11 was all that I could see. Just like in the cartoons, a light bulb went on above my head. Again, literally...someone must have leaned on a light switch. But, with the lights on...someone was home. I thumbed clumsily through the pages until I found it. Angels sang from the heavens above..."Hallelujah, hallelujah". I was saved! The sobbing was still coming down hard, but Mount Vesuvius hadn't erupted yet. But, I would have been a fool if I couldn't see how close it was. It was angry. It was unstable. It was going to BLOW. Every second was precious. Hide yer kids, hide yer wife.

But, like Superman stopping a runaway train, like Batman stopping a bus full of children from driving off a cliff, like Napoleon Dynamite catching a delicious bass, or like Superwoman forgetting to shave her legs...there it was. Simple and plain. Tip #11: Beware the Aggrevation of Exaggeration. "She may have a tendency to exaggerate everything, especially if she is frustrated about anything! You must become a master of coolheadedness." Even though she could have possibly done something horrible, I let my coolheadedness take over. I calmly used a soothing voice (think Barry White) and said, "I love you baby. Please try to relax. Every little thing will be alright (think Bob Marley)." With that, she started to calm down. The moans of the African Bull Elephant in labor mixed with the cries of baby seals, combined with screams of demonic possession that were followed by weezing sobs of a hyperventalating giant began to slowly fade away. And, with that, the mood instantly changed. She said, in a clear and coherent almost chipper voice, "I broke the side mirror on the car while backing out of the garage".

My first thought was..."You have to be *$#!%#@ kidding me! Seriously, all this over a mirror. I thought you killed someone." But, my response was, "Oh, no problem babe. It is no big deal. We will just get it fixed. I love you so much cookie face". The words left my mouth sincere and soft. They were loving and calm. But, in my head, I thought again to myself..."It was no big deal, but you decided to turn it into one. You pyschotic, beautiful, crazy, loving, unstable, incredibly awesome wife of mine. I love you even though you just sent me on a rollercoaster with missing wheels and no lap bar, but what the heck, the loop-d-loop and crockscrews wil be fun. After all, I am not alarmed! To this day, I still jolt up in the middle of the night, covered in a cold sweat, shaking, and unable to speak or move. The only thing that helps is sucking my thumb while laying in the fetal position until the ear shattering screams disapate. They will never leave me. I will never be the same.


This post will not be shared with my children until at such time I deem fit. These views are strictly the views of Justin Barrow and do not represent the views of Meagan Barrow or the Barrow Household. Copyright 2012. All rights reserved.

PS: A motion picture of the events of this day is currently being filmed at our home in Henderson, NV. These true events may be unsuitable for children under the age of 13. Extreme night terrors will follow the viewing of the picture. It is truly the most horrorific movie of all time. Please watch with caution upon its release.

Justin Barrow

PS+s: I may or may not have over dramatized the events above.

Monday, March 26, 2012

Floating Away...

Dear Sssssssoooooooooonnnnnnsssssss,

I'mmmmmm fffflllllloooooaaaaattttiiinnggggggggggggg aaaaaaawwwwwaaaayyyyyyy!

After loading up the car on Saturday with all the wonderful gifts that were given to us at the shower, I got a little nervous. Yeah, I will admit it. As tough as I am, I got a little worried. Doesn't happen often! But, there was so much stuff and yet you two still need more. Sometimes, I wonder how I am going to provide you guys with everything you need. I was shaken but not stirred...that's James Bond for you! When I wear a hat, some people get Bond, James Bond and Barrow, Justin Barrow confused. Not sure why since James Bond never wears a hat, but, at any rate, only my beautiful head gives me away.

Anyways, I went out to the courtyard to think and just happened to be carrying some of the balloons from the shower...for a small moment, I thought I could make my escape. Slowly, the balloons lifted me off the ground. I was starting to float away. I screamed "I'mmmmmm fffflllllloooooaaaaattttiiinnggggggggggggg aaaaaaawwwwwaaaayyyyyyy!". As I was floating away, your mommy ran out and snatched me right out the air. She botched my escape plan. I was getting away at an amazing rate too. I was, at least, three and one quarter inches off the ground. Another couple days and I would have been too high for her to reach me...but, she caught me in the nick of time. And, I am so glad she did.

I would never go anywhere without my family. I love all of you too much. Plus, I didn't have Marley with me. And, I can't leave Marley. I am just kidding. I love you boys so much already. And, I couldn't survive without your mom. Mac & Cheese is only good for so many meals...I mean, even Shane gets tired of it...eventually...I think. I need her! I need my boys! And, I need my pups!

A little while after your Mommy took my balloons away, I caught her secretly trying to escape using my plan. Lucky for me, you guys were weighing her down! So, she is stuck with me! Nice work fellas!

(To Mommy) Hunny, I see a little daylight beneath your sandals! Good job! Your are beautiful babe! After the boys arrive, I knew those balloons would take you away in an instant. So, I made sure you couldn't go away! I love you too much!

I am an EVIL genius! Like Dr. Evil, my master plans always work!

And, all of you...Mommy, Boston, Braxton, Marley, are all STUCK with me forever!

Loooooooovvvvvvveeeeeee Yoooooooooouuuuuuu!


Sunday, March 25, 2012

The Bachelor Pad...

Dear Boston & Braxton,

With only a short time left until you guys arrive, Mommy and I have been hard at work on your room. It is coming along nicely and in the coming weeks, we will be putting on the finishing touches. We are so excited for your room to soon be filled with laughter and even some tears...but, remember, crying is for babies.

This weekend, Mommy and I put bookshelves up in your room, but these aren't just any shelves. These are specially created bookshelves. See, you mommy always finds unique decorating ideas. And, she found a way to make bookshelves out of rain gutters. This weekend, we cut the rain gutters and put them on the wall. They make the best bookshelves and they look really good too. We are so excited for all the cool things in your room. We loaded up the shelves with lots of stories that we are going to read to you. And, as you get older, you boys will have quite the book collection.

Your mommy loves to read. Your daddy loves to write and all the reading he does helps with my writing. Books are a special thing and you will learn to love them. That is why we are starting you out with a collection of books. At the baby shower, people brought books instead of cards. Inside the books, they wrote special messages to you guys. What an awesome idea! And, have quite the collection of stories that we can read together.

What do you think?

We love the shelves and all your books. Your mommy and I have already begun reading stories and plan on making it part of the nightly routine. So, get ready to pick out your favorite book for story time!

This weekend, Mommy and I also bought a new sign for your room. It has a special meaning to us and we think it will have one for you guys. Your guys are going to have such an amazing bond and be the best of friends. We are so excited for that. The sign is a quote from Winnie the Pooh. Pooh always has wonderful words of wisdom. Piglet is his best friend, and Pooh is not shy of letting anyone know that. His words describe friendship perfectly.

Friendship is a special bond. As twins, you will be more than brothers, you will be best friends. "Time could change much, but not that."

Your bachelor pad is coming along and it is looking great. We hope you enjoy it because we have enjoyed getting it ready for you guys. Soon, you boys will be here and we will spend a lot of time in your pad.

I love you boys!


Saturday, March 24, 2012

Lets Get Crunk...

Dear Party Animals,

One day, when each of you brings a girl home to meet your mom and I, I will show them the title of this post. That way, they will know just how "hip" and "cool" and "gangsta" your dad is. Yes, I just wrote "gangsta". I left off the "r" because I am that awesome. As far as "Lets Get Crunk...", I am not even sure what that is or what that means. I mean, I wasn't even invited to the party...thank goodness. I would have stole the show, and this was your mommy's day. What a DIVA!

Your Aunt Alexis, your Mema, and your Aunt Brittney (Erickson) planned an amazing party for your mom. Leading up to it, she was so excited. She talked about it all the time. She was so happy that Brittney and Alexis wanted to throw her a shower!

As your mommy got ready, I just watched her. I admired her incredible beauty. She had a huge smile on her face that I will never forget. She was simply stunning. She was glowing. She looked so beautiful in her new dress.

I dropped her off at the party a few minutes early, and as we walked in, I was amazed at how wonderful a job Alexis, Brittney, and Mema did. It was awesome. But, you two were the ONLY two boys allowed at this shindig, so I had to leave. Oh wait, Raiden got to attend and even took pictures, but he is the Lightning God, so I cannot compete with that. But, what I saw was awesome. And, Brittney made a sweet "Jordan Diaper Cake". And, that makes her incredible in my book (Don't let it go to your head Erickson).

Anyone who does anything Jordan is awesome in my book!

It is such a blessing to me that my beautiful wife has an amazing friend like Brittney. One that cares so much about her that she takes a lot of time out of her life to just make my wife and your mommy smile. What an incredible blessing friends are. She is truly amazing. And, she will be amazed that I wrote some kind words about her...because, I am usually giving her a hard time. But, she is pretty awesome, and you boys will be lucky to know her.

As awesome as Brittney thinks she is (see how I turned that around really quick? Sorry Brit!), she needed some help from Alexis and Mema to complete the masterpiece. Your Aunt Alexis is eccentric, might be crazy, but I wouldn't trade her for anyone. She is always smiling and laughing. Other than the "occasional" potty word, she is a great aunt to have. She really loves you guys and cannot wait to hold you...well, when you aren't awake. When I was growing up, I was lucky enough to have my Aunt Sue live with our family for a while. It is such a blessing that she lived with us. My Uncle D lived with us too at one time. He used to babysit your Uncle B and me. It is so wonderful to have family live with you and be part of your lives. It is great when they live close by, but it is much better when you see them EVERYDAY because they live with you.

I will never forget Saturday mornings with Uncle D or Wednesday nights with Aunt Sue. It was a special time when they were in our home as I was growing up. And, Meagan and I got to live with Kennedy and Shane when they were younger. We all lived at Grandpa and Grandma Imlay's house. It was so fun to see my little niece and nephew everyday and play with them. I am sure they will remember it and cherish the memories as they get older.

So, you boys have a great blessing to have Aunt Alexis living with us. She is a joy to have in our home, and we are so grateful that she is here. It will be a blessing for you boys to have her here, and I am sure it will be the same for her. She will get to see you very often, and it will help her with some life skills. Not to mention, she is able to save some cash so she can buy a house of her own one day. Mommy and Daddy did the same thing when they lived with grandpa and grandma. She will be a great aunt!

Your grandma, Mema, has done so much for your boys already. And, she continued by helping with the baby shower. She has given you boys a place to rest your little heads. She got us a place to change your diapers and so much more. WE all owe her a big thank you for her help. Mema and Tutu have given you boys very much already and you will be blessed to have so much family so close by. It makes life so much better when you are close to those who love you.

Well, now it is time to get CRUNK! Still not sure what that means...but check it! See, still "gangsta"...

So many people came out to celebrate that you boys would be coming. People generously gave us wonderful gifts that we will need to make sure you guys have a wonderful and comfortable life. We are so grateful to everyone for being so supportive and giving so much to us. It made us feel so loved and we are lucky to have so many great people in our lives.

You boys attended your first party and it was a great one. I love you guys and so do a lot of other people. I love you boys!


Wednesday, March 21, 2012

26 Weeks...

Dear homies,

See, I am the "hip" dad! You two are so lucky to have me to laugh at for the rest of my life! And, you will be laughing at me and not with me.

It is hard to believe that less than 26 weeks ago; I found out that your mommy was pregnant with a baby. And, then...about 8 weeks ago, we found out that our one baby was now two babies. We were stunned and exicted at the same time. I cannot believe that in less than 13 weeks, you two will be here! What an amazing feeling.

At this point, you are both bigger than a single baby should be. You both weigh over 1 pound and 12 ounces, which is a huge blessing. You guys are about the size of a cucumber and about 14 inches long. Your lungs and brains are developing. You can detect light and dark through your optic nerves. You guys can hear noise coming from the outside world, so Mommy and Aunt Alexis will have to stop cursing. And, you will be listening to a lot more Beethoven, Mozart, Bach, and Johnny Cash. Yeah, I snuck the Johnny Cash in there. I may have to let you listen to a little Boyz II Men, so you can come out and be ready to pick up chicks at the hospital. If it is up to your Uncle Jonas, you will be listening to some Beiber. And, I am not sure how I feel about that right now. I would like you guys to have better pick up lines than "Baby, baby, baby oh...". So, a little Boyz II Men, Babyface, Brian McKnight, and K-Ci & JoJo will do you some good. We will be putting those little eardrums to the test in the coming weeks. And, you will be blessed to hear your daddy's beautiful singing voice...just ask your mommy...she loves it! Even though I rarely know the words. I still cannot figure out why Adele sings about setting "fire to your brain". But, oh well...

At 26 weeks, your mommy is just starting to show. She is positively glowing and her belly has just started to grow. She is beautiful.

You know what they say, the camera adds ten pounds. Your mommy is so gorgeous and she is absolutely amazing. She is getting uncomfortable, but she rarely complains and she still works like a crazy woman. She is incredible. If there was ever a pregnant superhero, you mommy would be the prototype to follow. See below:

The check is in the mail and should be arriving any day for the article above that was written about your mom.

We are lucy to have her! We are counting down the days until you boys arrive! It won't be long now. And, I cannot wait! Yes, that was an exclamation point! And another! I could have just given you three...And, I cannot wait!!! Or I could shout it...And, I CANNOT WAIT!!! You get the idea...I am a little excited.

I love you very much!


Monday, March 19, 2012

Time to see the Doc...

Dear boys,

The day that you will arrive is quickly approaching. As the time passes, we get to watch you boys grow bigger and bigger. Today, Mommy got to go to the doctor and was able to see you boys again. We are approaching the 26 week mark, and it is amazing how big you boys are getting. This time, your Mema went to the doctor with mommy. She was so excited to get to see you boys. It was awesome that your mommy and your grandma could spend time together and see you boys.

Right now, you both are very healthy which is such a relief. Boston is up to 1 pound 13 ounces, and Braxton is up to 1 pound 15 ounces. You both are growing so well. We are so grateful to our Heavenly Father for that. For the next couple months, the doctors will be watching you closely to make sure you keep growing and are healthy! We are keeping our fingers crossed!

It is always so awesome to see you boys. It brings tears to my eyes every time. And, I cannot wait to hold the two of you and see your mommy smile as she looks at her boys.

I love you so much!


Thursday, March 15, 2012

Furry Friends...

Dear Boston and Braxton,

"He is my other eyes that can see above the clouds; my other ears that hear above the winds. He is the part of me that can reach out into the sea. He has told me a thousand times over that I am his reason for being; by the way he rests against my leg; by the way he thumps his tail at my smallest smile; by the way he shows his hurt when I leave without taking him. (I think it makes him sick with worry when he is not along to care for me.) When I am wrong, he is delighted to forgive. When I am angry, he clowns to make me smile. When I am happy, he is joy unbounded. When I am a fool, he ignores it. When I succeed, he brags. Without him, I am only another man. With him, I am all-powerful. He is loyalty itself. He has taught me the meaning of devotion. With him, I know a secret comfort and a private peace. He has brought me understanding where before I was ignorant. His head on my knee can heal my human hurts. His presence by my side is protection against my fears of dark and unknown things. He has promised to wait for me... whenever... wherever - in case I need him. And I expect I will - as I always have. He is just my dog."
- Gene Hill

That is one of my favorite quotes. It reminds me of all the furry friends that I have had in my life. Zach, Carlee, Kip, Saydee, Ziggy, Marley, and Minnie (Mouse) have all touched my life. Carlee and Ziggy both saved my life...literally...something I will tell you boys about when you are a little older. To me, there are not many things better than the unconditional love of a furry little friend. Like the quote says, my dogs have always been there for me. They have comforted me when I was sad or sick. They have always forgiven me. And, they have always thought the best of me.

When you two arrive, you will have two furry friends waiting for you. They both already guard your room on a regular basis. Minnie has been caught sleeping under your cribs and Marley loves to lay in your doorway. He is always standing watch. I bet he will sleep in your room every night as soon as you boys are home.

Marley is a Harrier Hound. He is going to be 10 years old in November. But, he is young at heart and sounds like a seal when he gets excited. He loves to play and to snuggle. And, in his old age, he has become patient. He lets Mouse bite his ears, his paws, and his neck. When you boys are crawling around, he will let you pull his tail and his ears. He will let you crawl all over him. And, everytime you see him, he will wag his tail and give you a kiss. And, sometimes, he will help you get into trouble.

Lately, Marley has been snuggling with mommy all the time. Since she has been pregnant with you guys, he has been by Mommy more than ever. He loves to sniff her belly and snuggle close to his baby brothers.

Minnie, or Mouse, or Tiny, or Privits...whatever you want to call a little DIVA. She is a 2 year old Cheweenie. When we got her, she only weighed 2 pounds. Now, fully grown, she is a whole 7 pounds. She is full of fury at times, but she loves to play, to snuggle, and to be naughty. She is a funny little dog that will lick you to death and play with you until she passes out.

She, like her brother, has taken to snuggling with her little brothers as often as she can. She likes to lay on Mommy's belly, so if you ever felt a little squished inside Mommy's you know why. Tiny was laying on your head!

And, even though I drive her crazy when we play Lion King, she is still a good little girl that loves to play.

Just like you two will be best friends, so are Marley and Minnie. And, they are eagerly awaiting your arrival.

Being part of the Barrow family, you will learn to love dogs. Everyone in our family loves dogs. Most of us have at least one. And, they are part of our family. You two are lucky to have two furry friends that will love you from the we hope.