Christmas...

Dear Barrow Barrow,

It is Christmas! And, even though we have haven't exchanged gifts yet, I already know that I received the best gift early. That gift is you! I was told you were coming in October, and since then, I have known that there could be no better gift. I am so grateful that you will be coming soon and I cannot wait to hold you on this special day in the coming years.

This year, I shared a video that I always love to see on Christmas. I am posting it here for you so that one day, we can watch it together. The true meaning of Christmas isn't receiving gifts. It is about Christ and giving. It is about the birth of the Savior and the gift that God gave to the world. It is about being Christlike and showing charity to those around you. It is about love and compassion. Christmas is so very special. And, this Christmas is one of the most special I have ever had. I cannot wait to see you. I love you.

Love Daddy

What Matters Most...

Dear Baby Barrow,

Our family is a very close knit group. We spend a lot of time together and around the holidays we are inseparable. We spend a lot of time playing games, visiting, and just enjoying one another's company. I feel so bless to be a part of this family, and we cannot wait for you to join us. I love you so much. I love your mother more than you will ever know. And, I love our family with all more heart. What matters most in this life...is family! And, I cannot wait until you join ours.

Love Daddy

Blessings of a Baby...

Dear Baby Barrow,

As the end of the year approaches, human nature takes over and we find ourselves being kinder to each other. We find ourselves being more loving and thoughtful to those special people in our lives. We are filled with thankfulness and gratitude that may be lacking throughout the rest of the year. As the Christmas holiday approaches, the majority of us (your daddy included) seem to try harder to be more like our Savior, Jesus Christ. We should try harder to be more like our Savior throughout the entire year, but, for some reason, the Christmas holiday lights a fire within us and urges us more strongly than ever to be a better, more caring, more grateful person.

During this particular Christmas season, I have already felt more gratitude than ever before. The thought of holding you in my arms brings tears to my eyes. As I think about you, my heart begins to beat with excitement. I cannot wait to kiss your cheek and look into your eyes. I cannot wait to hold one of God's most precious angels. Your Heavenly Father chose me to be your father and you my child. What a special knowledge that is to have. And, although you haven't arrived yet, I already know that I will have a tough time ever letting you go.

With that thought in my mind, tears fill my eyes. It is difficult to imagine the struggle our Heavenly Father had knowing that he would have to give up His Son to help save all of us. I cannot imagine the pain and joy that he felt as His Only Begotten Son journeyed to this world. It is truly amazing gift that our Father in Heaven gave to us. His Son and Him love all of us so much that they were willing to be apart. Jesus was willing to suffer horrible, unimaginable hardships. And, his loving Father could only watch as he suffered. He looked down, wanting to help take the pain away from his struggling son, knowing that with one snap of his fingers he could stop it all, but he also knew that the plan most be complete in order for ALL of his children to have the chance to return to him. What a blessing.

The blessings of a baby are incredible. In about six months, I will have the blessing to hold a beautiful child, straight from Heaven in my arms. I cannot wait to hold you and at that moment, I will thank my Heavenly Father stronger than I ever have before. And, I will feel the love that my Father in Heaven has for our family as we are united at last.

Love Daddy

Always A Beginning...

Dear Baby Barrow,

On this day, four years ago, I married the most beautiful, amazing, caring woman in the world...your mommy. She has changed me life and I will be forever grateful to her for that. She is a very special woman and we are lucky to have her in our lives.

On December 8, 2011, our journey began. Every tale has its beginning and this was our beginning to becoming our family. And, now, four years later, we are excitedly awaiting your arrival.

Those are some pictures from our special day. It was one of the best days of my life, and I cannot wait until the day of your arrival to add another special day to my memory.

Love Daddy

The Dad I Wanna Be...

Dear Baby Barrow,

Throughout my life, there has been one person that I have strived to be like. And, while I have a VERY long way to go, I still strive everyday to be like him. He is the one person who has always been there for me. Through thick and thin, good and bad, happiness and depression; he has always loved me unconditionally. He has always been there with a should to cry on. He has always lent an ear to listen. And, even at 3 a.m., he is willing to share some of his much needed wisdom with me if I call upon him.

I was blessed with the greatest dad in the world. He is the one I strive to be like. He is the one who has taught me much of what I know. And, even though he gave me the receding hairline and helped me realize my destiny of being bald at the age of 22, he is still one of a kind. I inherited the head shake and, if you are lucky, maybe the finger poke from him. He has helped mold and shape your daddy into the person he is today. Without him, your daddy would be lost. So, when I am asked about the dad I wanna be, I do not have to look very far because I have known the answer for a very long time. If I can even be half the dad to you that my dad was to me then I will feel like I have been successful. He has shown me the man I need to be and he continues to show me the type of husband and father I need to be.

Your Papi is a special man and someone you will learn a lot from. And, one day, I hope to make both Papi and you proud.

And, if I am anything like him, I know I will make you proud because I am proud to call him my dad.

I love you.

Love Daddy

The Shakes...

Dear Baby Barrow,

The shakes...I have them. Not all the time but occasionally. Apprehension, nervousness, inadequacy...you can call it whatever you would like, but for me, I call it "the shakes". I am not exactly sure why I refer to those feelings that way, but I do. Maybe, just maybe, I do it to make "light" of those feelings. At any rate, I always have and I probably always will refer to them that way. I am sure that at some point in your life, I will ask you about "the shakes". I will probably ask you about them before your first day of school. I will surely ask you about them before your first date. It will come up right before your wedding. And, I can guarantee that I will ask you when the time comes for you to have a child of your own. So, at some point, you will feel the shakes and you will know what I am talking about. Just know, that when that time comes, you will have a loving father to talk to about them.

Now, back to "the shakes" that I am feeling. As I have been writing this blog, I have been doing a lot of thinking. I have probably done more introspection these past few weeks than I did in my entire life previously. As I think about you, I am forced to look inside myself and evaluate me. It is a good thing, something I should do more often than I do. But, with it, "the shakes" arrive. They come and go...but, they definitely come more often these days.

As I look inside myself, I am consumed by a feeling of inadequacy. Thoughts, questions, fears all bounce around my troubled mind. I wonder if I will be a good father like my dad was to me. I know I will try harder than you will ever know to be a good dad to you, but it still scares me. I have failed at a lot of things in my life, and this is simply one thing that I refuse to fail at. All my shortcomings (and there are a lot of them...too many to list here), all my failures (again...a lot), all my mistakes (too many to count), all the inadequacy (you get the idea), and all the fear (too much) have lead me to this point in my life and have prepared me to be your father. After all, who wants a perfect father to live up to. You have a father with a lot of rough edges that he is trying to smooth out, a process that I am sure you will help me with. And, throughout that life-long process, we will develop a special bond and I will be forever grateful to you for making me a little smoother than I was before you came into my life. I am already grateful to you as that "smoothing" process has already begun. See, you make me want to be a better person. Mommy and you help me to strive to be the person that I have always hoped to be. And, I am forever grateful for that.

So, regardless of "the shakes", I am ready to be your dad and hopefully I will be a good one. I will strive every second of everyday to be the best dad that I can be. We will work at it together because I will need a lot of help. Us working together is only logical because you will be new here and I will be new to the dad thing. We will both be rookies. It will be your first time having a dad and it will be my first time having a child. Together, we will make it and it will be an amazing ride even if "the shakes" come from time to time. I love you and cannot wait for you to feel "the shakes" with me.

Love Daddy

Best Blessings in Life...

Dear Baby Barrow,

Life is filled with happiness and good times. But, throughout life, there will be times of hardship, struggle, and even sadness. As unfortunate as that is, it is part of life. Heavenly Father puts trials in our life to help us grow and develop as human beings. Sometimes, those trials will seem like more than we can handle, but we must always remember that Jesus Christ is with us and will help carry our burdens. Throughout my life, I have faced adversity. I have had struggles with my health. I have fought through depression. But, through it all, one thing has never changed. Heavenly Father has blessed me with family and friends who have been there to support me and help me through every hardship. They have been there to offer advice. They have been there to offer a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on. They have offered their strength, lent their tears, and been there EVERY step of the way. Without them, I would not be who I am today.

As you grow up, you will begin to see just how important your family and friends are. They will love you and support you. They will always be there for you. As I have gotten older, I realize, more and more, just how important my family and friends are to me. True friends will always be by your side. They will make you laugh, they will make you smile, and they will bring joy to your life.

When times are tough, Heavenly Father will place those special people in your life to help you through the difficulties. Recently, he placed some special friends in our (Mom and me) lives. It is interesting how things like this come about. You may not even be looking for friends or think you need some, but Heavenly Father knows best. So, when he put Brittney and Dustin Erickson in our path...we screamed, ran, and hid. But, as you will learn, those Erickson's are persistent. Eventually, they found us...and I have to admit, we like them. They are amazing people with great values that they hold dear and show on a daily basis. And, so, just when we needed friends the most, Heavenly Father put these special people in our life. We are lucky to have them. Family and friends are the "best blessings in life". The Erickson's are one of those special blessings.

As a matter of fact, today, your mom and I woke up to a heartfelt, special message on Facebook from Brittney. I thought it would be something that you would like to read one day, so I plagiarized it on my blog for you. But, don't worry, she teaches Kindergarten, so she won't be worried about a little plagiarism.

She wrote "I am so so so happy to say that a couple of our absolute, greatest friends are going to be parents, and that means I have a little one to start spoiling! We are so excited for you Meagan Barrow and Justin Barrow! You're going to be amazing parents, and we can't wait to meet baby barrow! :)".

What a special message this was to your mother and me. Like I said, we have been blessed with great friends. And, our friends, are so eager to meet you and spend time with you. What a lucky child you will be. You will have a family that loves you and friends that want to spend time with you and share their love with you also.

So, to the Erickson's: "You're more than friends. You're blessings."

Thank you for coming into our lives when we needed you the most. Thank you for putting up with my wife...or ME! And, thank you for being excited to meet our little one. Good friends are hard to come by in this world, but "a true friend is a gift from God".

So, Baby Barrow, as you grow up, one of the best pieces of advice I can give is to cherish the blessing of good friends. Heavenly Father will put them in your life, and it is your job to keep them there.

We have been blessed to have the Erickson's, the Fisher's, and the Lawrence's all come into our lives and befriend us around the same time. We are blessed to call them our friends and make memories together. And, I cannot wait for you to meet some of the best blessings in life.

Love Daddy

Beat Of Your Heart...

Dear Baby Barrow,

Today was truly one of the most incredible experiences of my life. There are moments that you experience that FOREVER change your life. These are moments that cause such an amazing rush of emotion that they are difficult to describe with words. Today, I experienced one of those moments. I got to hear your heartbeat today. And, in that moment, my heart began to pound and I experienced a joy that I cannot put into words.

As I heard your little heart beating, I looked into your mommy’s eyes as they filled with tears of joy. My eyes overflowed with tears. The smile on your mommy’s face is something that I will forever keep in my mind. She was filled with joy and started to giggle. When your mommy gets really happy, she giggles. And, the sound of your heart made her giggle.


Babys heart beat

What an experience it was to hear your little heart beating inside your mommy's tummy. A moment that will be with me forever was experienced today and my love for you grew even more than I could have imagined. I cannot wait to feel your heartbeat when the time comes.

I love you!

Love Daddy