10 Months and Counting...

Dear Boston & Braxton,

 

Ten months ago, I scooped up two little midgets in my exhausted and shaking arms. As I looked at each of you, I was in awe of the two little, amazing gifts that God had just entrusted to me. I thought about the word "Father" and how much weight that sacred word carries. In that moment, I was scared to death. Tears of joy mixed with those of anticipation, fear, excitement, anxiety and inadequacy flowed. The enormous weight of the situation was hitting me like a ton of bricks. I was extremely happy but also so very scared. Suddenly, I was responsible for the lives of two angels from above. And, while I had read books, done research, talked with family and friends and tried to prepare for this moment...there isn't really anything that can prepare a person for the journey of being a new parent. One baby would have been enough but two...how was I going to handle two?

 

However, as I looked at each of you, an overwhelming love overcame me. A sense of peace and joy settled my nerves. The journey to parenthood was finished but the journey of parenthood was just beginning. In those precious moments, I knew it was simultaneously going to be the most fulfilling and the most overwhelmingly difficult task in my life.

 

As I silently prayed for comfort, understanding and wisdom, I pondered God's willingness to provide me with not one but two of his children. In my prayers I had only ever asked for one. Did I deserve two? And, if I didn't, why were you two given to me? If I did, what had I done to deserve you two? In my heart, I felt inadequate to have been blessed with two amazing spirits. I pondered God's all consuming love, that immeasurable love that I was so undeserving of. Regardless, I was so incredibly grateful for the two children of God that I now called my sons.

 

Over these past ten months, the feelings of complete joy and unconditional love have always outweighed the feeling of overwhelming inadequacy. I have watched as you boys have grown, and through you, I have grown. I have reached places that I didn't think were possible, places I would have never reached without each of you. The journey of unlocking an improved, more well-rounded, more complete, and better me would not have started without my little family. Between mommy and my boys, I have a renewed vigor to become a person that each of you can be proud of. I am so grateful to each of you for that. I am indebted to each of you for instilling that desire in me.

 

Over the past ten months, you guys have brought so much joy to our lives and the lives of others. Your infectious smiles regularly uplift the spirits of family, friends and random strangers. There is not a day that goes by where you don't make some one's day better. Remember to always practice that. Smile at others. Share your happiness. Share your love. Share of yourself.

 

Today, at 10 months and counting, we share your infectious smiles. We share the unconditional love that resides inside each of you. Today, like every day, you boys inspire me and all those you come in contact with.

 

I love you both so very much.

 

Love,

Dad