Wipe Right...

Throughout history, there have been many historic debates.

 

Dog or Cat? ABC or NBC? Batman or Superman? Ford or Chevy? Seinfeld or Friends? Nike or Reebok? Playstation or XBox? 2Pac or Biggie? Coke or Pepsi? Red Sox or Yankees? MJ or Magic? Star Trek or Star Wars?

 

These debates have raged on for years. I have always found myself on various sides of these issues...usually, if not always, the right side...but that doesn't really matter. But, it is true. Just ask me, and I will tell that I am right.

 

Dog. NBC. Batman. Ford. Friends. Nike. XBox. 2Pac. Pepsi. Red Sox. MJ. Star Wars.

 

Enough said.

 

But, even with all these debates, one debate tops them all. It surpasses all the discussion of pets, television choices, superheroes, brands, teams, players, etc. I have debated it at home, at the gym, at work, across bathroom stalls and everywhere else whether appropriate or not. So, what is this unsettled debate that could rock the nation?

 

Toilet Paper or Baby Wipes?

 

That's right. That is what I got. The most important debate revolves around what is used to wipe one's ass. That's it. What type of ass wipe do you use?

 

For me, I have always shouted from the roof tops for the baby wipe side. That's right...I use baby wipes. Some people laugh at that idea. Some people mock me for it. And, the asses of those people aren't as clean as mine...so who is the joke really on?

 

If you get poop on your hand, which we have all done at one time or another, do you merely wipe that poop off with paper? Do you just use a couple squares of two-ply, call it good and wait for you next shower? I don't think so Tim. If your name is Tim, that wasn't directed at you...unless you don't use baby wipes. Think about it...really think about it.

 

As I have been changing diapers for the crapping machines that currently are in my care, I have come to the realization, more than ever, that basic toilet paper just doesn't cut it. Baby wipes are a must.

 

Now, I bet that by this point in time, you are wondering why you are wasting your time reading this garbage. And, I really don't have an answer for you. Maybe, just maybe, it is because you're bored. Maybe, just maybe, it is because you feel sorry for me. But, for whatever reason, you are here. You are thinking about toilet paper and baby wipes and poop. And, for that, you are welcome.

 

Enjoy your night, and remember to wipe right.