The bright, desert morning sunlight was blocked out by the darkened lens of my white sunglasses. My reflection appeared in the windows of the large office building as I strolled by. My crisp gray suit sat neatly over my light blue shirt. I turned towards the window, gave myself a look and adjusted my striped tie. It was quite the outfit. Admiring myself, I stuck my left thumb in my mouth and with my right hand, I opened the door to the office. I stumbled to my desk with a couple of close calls, but I made it.
It was going to be another long day. As I sat in my chair, I pulled out my baggy of puffs and spread them across my desktop. With my thumb still in my mouth, I began to read through my "To Do" list. The list included a meeting at 10:00 a.m. with members of the executive team, a conference call with developers at 11:00 a.m., and a lot of busy work filling up the rest of my day. My boss came by my desk and dropped off a bulging folder at my desk. As he did, my lip quivered. My eyes filled with tears and I sucked my thumb a little harder. The tears continued to consume my eyes. I pulled my thumb out of my mouth and both of my hands clenched to fists. My face turned beet red as I held my breath. The alligator tears began streaming down my face. My lungs began to burn. My lips began to turn blue. I shook my fists as an ear piercing shriek escaped my throat. A puzzled look formed on the face of my boss. As I continued to scream, my boss just turned and walked away.
My throat was aching. My nose was running and I was still crying. I began trying to calm myself. I started making sounds...babbling and such. I blew air past my lips and they flapped. I continued this process and felt my self calming down. I brought my thumb back to mouth. Snot was still running from my nose, but the tears were subsiding. I rubbed my red eyes. I was going to need a nap before too long, but I wasn't going to go down happily.
As I grabbed a puff, I noticed that my 10:00 a.m. meeting was quickly approaching. As I grabbed my note pad and placed my pen in my mouth, I began my trek to the conference room upstairs. On the middle of the stairs, I saw a small metal object. I grabbed it and quickly placed it in my mouth. With a giggle and a babbling shout, I shook my arms wildly in the air. After, I continued on my way. I, once again, blew air past my lips making them flap. A co-worker opened the door and smiled at me. I giggled. As I passed her, I turned and accidentally burped in her face. I suddenly felt better. With a smile, I kept on walking. Right before I reached the conference room, I reached down to pick up a small piece of paper. It too found it's way to my mouth. As it joined the small metal object I found previously, I shook my arms with excitement. I rubbed my eyes, entered the conference room and took my seat.
As the executive team sat around the tab, I looked at each of them. I expected one of them to bark or make a sound like an ape or make sounds like gunshots as they pointed at me...but none of those things happened. I began to get antsy. I let out a small warning cry and shot the VP an irritated look as my lip quivered. My belly rumbled and I let out another whimper. They looked at me, and the executive assistant left the room. As I fought to compose myself, I blew air through my lips making them flap. A high pitched, sad screech escaped my lungs followed by a "ma ma ma". It was soon followed by a "da da da". Then, it was soon followed by a "ba ba ba". The executive assistant returned as my face began to turn red. My fists clenched and the tears were back. The executive assistant slide a Snickers bar towards me. As the VP unwrapped it for me, I began to scream. The Snickers was shoved in my mouth as I took a gasp. Life was good again!
As the meeting started, I stuck my hand in my mouth and began gnawing on it. Drool dripped down my chin and accumulated on the desk in front of me. As the voices shared their ideas, I looked out the window. A funny look formed on my face. A grunt escaped from my mouth. My nose scrunched upwards and my face reddened. I grunted again. This process happened over and over again. As the VP looked over at me, I smiled as I finished grunting. A stench filled the room, but I was satisfied. I babbled loudly, flailed my arms and shook my head while snot and drool ran down my face. My hand found it's way to my mouth again. I rubbed my face, stood up, stumbled a few steps and dropped to the ground where I once stood. I let out a little whimper, grapped my teddy, closed my eyes and was soon fast asleep.
Oh...if only all adults could act like babies...instead of just some.
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