Christmas...

Dear Barrow Barrow,

It is Christmas! And, even though we have haven't exchanged gifts yet, I already know that I received the best gift early. That gift is you! I was told you were coming in October, and since then, I have known that there could be no better gift. I am so grateful that you will be coming soon and I cannot wait to hold you on this special day in the coming years.

This year, I shared a video that I always love to see on Christmas. I am posting it here for you so that one day, we can watch it together. The true meaning of Christmas isn't receiving gifts. It is about Christ and giving. It is about the birth of the Savior and the gift that God gave to the world. It is about being Christlike and showing charity to those around you. It is about love and compassion. Christmas is so very special. And, this Christmas is one of the most special I have ever had. I cannot wait to see you. I love you.

Love Daddy

What Matters Most...

Dear Baby Barrow,

Our family is a very close knit group. We spend a lot of time together and around the holidays we are inseparable. We spend a lot of time playing games, visiting, and just enjoying one another's company. I feel so bless to be a part of this family, and we cannot wait for you to join us. I love you so much. I love your mother more than you will ever know. And, I love our family with all more heart. What matters most in this life...is family! And, I cannot wait until you join ours.

Love Daddy

Blessings of a Baby...

Dear Baby Barrow,

As the end of the year approaches, human nature takes over and we find ourselves being kinder to each other. We find ourselves being more loving and thoughtful to those special people in our lives. We are filled with thankfulness and gratitude that may be lacking throughout the rest of the year. As the Christmas holiday approaches, the majority of us (your daddy included) seem to try harder to be more like our Savior, Jesus Christ. We should try harder to be more like our Savior throughout the entire year, but, for some reason, the Christmas holiday lights a fire within us and urges us more strongly than ever to be a better, more caring, more grateful person.

During this particular Christmas season, I have already felt more gratitude than ever before. The thought of holding you in my arms brings tears to my eyes. As I think about you, my heart begins to beat with excitement. I cannot wait to kiss your cheek and look into your eyes. I cannot wait to hold one of God's most precious angels. Your Heavenly Father chose me to be your father and you my child. What a special knowledge that is to have. And, although you haven't arrived yet, I already know that I will have a tough time ever letting you go.

With that thought in my mind, tears fill my eyes. It is difficult to imagine the struggle our Heavenly Father had knowing that he would have to give up His Son to help save all of us. I cannot imagine the pain and joy that he felt as His Only Begotten Son journeyed to this world. It is truly amazing gift that our Father in Heaven gave to us. His Son and Him love all of us so much that they were willing to be apart. Jesus was willing to suffer horrible, unimaginable hardships. And, his loving Father could only watch as he suffered. He looked down, wanting to help take the pain away from his struggling son, knowing that with one snap of his fingers he could stop it all, but he also knew that the plan most be complete in order for ALL of his children to have the chance to return to him. What a blessing.

The blessings of a baby are incredible. In about six months, I will have the blessing to hold a beautiful child, straight from Heaven in my arms. I cannot wait to hold you and at that moment, I will thank my Heavenly Father stronger than I ever have before. And, I will feel the love that my Father in Heaven has for our family as we are united at last.

Love Daddy

Always A Beginning...

Dear Baby Barrow,

On this day, four years ago, I married the most beautiful, amazing, caring woman in the world...your mommy. She has changed me life and I will be forever grateful to her for that. She is a very special woman and we are lucky to have her in our lives.

On December 8, 2011, our journey began. Every tale has its beginning and this was our beginning to becoming our family. And, now, four years later, we are excitedly awaiting your arrival.

Those are some pictures from our special day. It was one of the best days of my life, and I cannot wait until the day of your arrival to add another special day to my memory.

Love Daddy

The Dad I Wanna Be...

Dear Baby Barrow,

Throughout my life, there has been one person that I have strived to be like. And, while I have a VERY long way to go, I still strive everyday to be like him. He is the one person who has always been there for me. Through thick and thin, good and bad, happiness and depression; he has always loved me unconditionally. He has always been there with a should to cry on. He has always lent an ear to listen. And, even at 3 a.m., he is willing to share some of his much needed wisdom with me if I call upon him.

I was blessed with the greatest dad in the world. He is the one I strive to be like. He is the one who has taught me much of what I know. And, even though he gave me the receding hairline and helped me realize my destiny of being bald at the age of 22, he is still one of a kind. I inherited the head shake and, if you are lucky, maybe the finger poke from him. He has helped mold and shape your daddy into the person he is today. Without him, your daddy would be lost. So, when I am asked about the dad I wanna be, I do not have to look very far because I have known the answer for a very long time. If I can even be half the dad to you that my dad was to me then I will feel like I have been successful. He has shown me the man I need to be and he continues to show me the type of husband and father I need to be.

Your Papi is a special man and someone you will learn a lot from. And, one day, I hope to make both Papi and you proud.

And, if I am anything like him, I know I will make you proud because I am proud to call him my dad.

I love you.

Love Daddy

The Shakes...

Dear Baby Barrow,

The shakes...I have them. Not all the time but occasionally. Apprehension, nervousness, inadequacy...you can call it whatever you would like, but for me, I call it "the shakes". I am not exactly sure why I refer to those feelings that way, but I do. Maybe, just maybe, I do it to make "light" of those feelings. At any rate, I always have and I probably always will refer to them that way. I am sure that at some point in your life, I will ask you about "the shakes". I will probably ask you about them before your first day of school. I will surely ask you about them before your first date. It will come up right before your wedding. And, I can guarantee that I will ask you when the time comes for you to have a child of your own. So, at some point, you will feel the shakes and you will know what I am talking about. Just know, that when that time comes, you will have a loving father to talk to about them.

Now, back to "the shakes" that I am feeling. As I have been writing this blog, I have been doing a lot of thinking. I have probably done more introspection these past few weeks than I did in my entire life previously. As I think about you, I am forced to look inside myself and evaluate me. It is a good thing, something I should do more often than I do. But, with it, "the shakes" arrive. They come and go...but, they definitely come more often these days.

As I look inside myself, I am consumed by a feeling of inadequacy. Thoughts, questions, fears all bounce around my troubled mind. I wonder if I will be a good father like my dad was to me. I know I will try harder than you will ever know to be a good dad to you, but it still scares me. I have failed at a lot of things in my life, and this is simply one thing that I refuse to fail at. All my shortcomings (and there are a lot of them...too many to list here), all my failures (again...a lot), all my mistakes (too many to count), all the inadequacy (you get the idea), and all the fear (too much) have lead me to this point in my life and have prepared me to be your father. After all, who wants a perfect father to live up to. You have a father with a lot of rough edges that he is trying to smooth out, a process that I am sure you will help me with. And, throughout that life-long process, we will develop a special bond and I will be forever grateful to you for making me a little smoother than I was before you came into my life. I am already grateful to you as that "smoothing" process has already begun. See, you make me want to be a better person. Mommy and you help me to strive to be the person that I have always hoped to be. And, I am forever grateful for that.

So, regardless of "the shakes", I am ready to be your dad and hopefully I will be a good one. I will strive every second of everyday to be the best dad that I can be. We will work at it together because I will need a lot of help. Us working together is only logical because you will be new here and I will be new to the dad thing. We will both be rookies. It will be your first time having a dad and it will be my first time having a child. Together, we will make it and it will be an amazing ride even if "the shakes" come from time to time. I love you and cannot wait for you to feel "the shakes" with me.

Love Daddy

Best Blessings in Life...

Dear Baby Barrow,

Life is filled with happiness and good times. But, throughout life, there will be times of hardship, struggle, and even sadness. As unfortunate as that is, it is part of life. Heavenly Father puts trials in our life to help us grow and develop as human beings. Sometimes, those trials will seem like more than we can handle, but we must always remember that Jesus Christ is with us and will help carry our burdens. Throughout my life, I have faced adversity. I have had struggles with my health. I have fought through depression. But, through it all, one thing has never changed. Heavenly Father has blessed me with family and friends who have been there to support me and help me through every hardship. They have been there to offer advice. They have been there to offer a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on. They have offered their strength, lent their tears, and been there EVERY step of the way. Without them, I would not be who I am today.

As you grow up, you will begin to see just how important your family and friends are. They will love you and support you. They will always be there for you. As I have gotten older, I realize, more and more, just how important my family and friends are to me. True friends will always be by your side. They will make you laugh, they will make you smile, and they will bring joy to your life.

When times are tough, Heavenly Father will place those special people in your life to help you through the difficulties. Recently, he placed some special friends in our (Mom and me) lives. It is interesting how things like this come about. You may not even be looking for friends or think you need some, but Heavenly Father knows best. So, when he put Brittney and Dustin Erickson in our path...we screamed, ran, and hid. But, as you will learn, those Erickson's are persistent. Eventually, they found us...and I have to admit, we like them. They are amazing people with great values that they hold dear and show on a daily basis. And, so, just when we needed friends the most, Heavenly Father put these special people in our life. We are lucky to have them. Family and friends are the "best blessings in life". The Erickson's are one of those special blessings.

As a matter of fact, today, your mom and I woke up to a heartfelt, special message on Facebook from Brittney. I thought it would be something that you would like to read one day, so I plagiarized it on my blog for you. But, don't worry, she teaches Kindergarten, so she won't be worried about a little plagiarism.

She wrote "I am so so so happy to say that a couple of our absolute, greatest friends are going to be parents, and that means I have a little one to start spoiling! We are so excited for you Meagan Barrow and Justin Barrow! You're going to be amazing parents, and we can't wait to meet baby barrow! :)".

What a special message this was to your mother and me. Like I said, we have been blessed with great friends. And, our friends, are so eager to meet you and spend time with you. What a lucky child you will be. You will have a family that loves you and friends that want to spend time with you and share their love with you also.

So, to the Erickson's: "You're more than friends. You're blessings."

Thank you for coming into our lives when we needed you the most. Thank you for putting up with my wife...or ME! And, thank you for being excited to meet our little one. Good friends are hard to come by in this world, but "a true friend is a gift from God".

So, Baby Barrow, as you grow up, one of the best pieces of advice I can give is to cherish the blessing of good friends. Heavenly Father will put them in your life, and it is your job to keep them there.

We have been blessed to have the Erickson's, the Fisher's, and the Lawrence's all come into our lives and befriend us around the same time. We are blessed to call them our friends and make memories together. And, I cannot wait for you to meet some of the best blessings in life.

Love Daddy

Beat Of Your Heart...

Dear Baby Barrow,

Today was truly one of the most incredible experiences of my life. There are moments that you experience that FOREVER change your life. These are moments that cause such an amazing rush of emotion that they are difficult to describe with words. Today, I experienced one of those moments. I got to hear your heartbeat today. And, in that moment, my heart began to pound and I experienced a joy that I cannot put into words.

As I heard your little heart beating, I looked into your mommy’s eyes as they filled with tears of joy. My eyes overflowed with tears. The smile on your mommy’s face is something that I will forever keep in my mind. She was filled with joy and started to giggle. When your mommy gets really happy, she giggles. And, the sound of your heart made her giggle.


Babys heart beat

What an experience it was to hear your little heart beating inside your mommy's tummy. A moment that will be with me forever was experienced today and my love for you grew even more than I could have imagined. I cannot wait to feel your heartbeat when the time comes.

I love you!

Love Daddy

Because Two People Fell in Love...

Dear Baby Barrow,

I have been BLESSED! Heavenly Father has blessed me time and time again, and he continues to bless me EVERYDAY. As this Thanksgiving weekend was coming to a close, I was reminded over and over again just how blessed I am.

I have been blessed with a wonderful family of amazing, talented, and loving individuals. Together, we complete the puzzle. I am so grateful for all of them and feel blessed to have them in my life. You will feel the same as their love will surround you and you will feel blessed to be part of such an amazing family.

Top: Mommy, Aunt Ashlee, Aunt Riss Middle: Daddy, Cousin Kennedy, Uncle Ty, Uncle B, Cousin Shane Bottom: Nani, Papi, Cousin Raiden

I have been blessed with the great parents on Earth. Like Nephi says, "Having been born of goodly parents"...I, too, was born of goodly parents. They worked so hard to make sure that I had a better childhood than they did. They always showed me unconditional love while teaching me the values that have shaped me into the man I am today. I owe so much to them and I will forever be indebted to them for all they have done and continue to do for me. Bringing you into this world will help pay a little of that debt because Nani and Papi LOVE their grandkids. You will be blessed, like me, to have them in your life.

Growing up, your Uncle B taught me a lot (or so he will tell you). However, I think I taught him more. You will probably hear the "heated" debate one day. Your Uncle B and Aunt Riss have taught your mommy and me a lot about being good parents. I also feel very blessed that they trusted us to "kidnap" your cousins, Kennedy and Shane, on a regular basis. We got a lot of good practice in with them. They are so excited for your arrival. Kennedy cannot wait to hold you and Shane cannot wait to give you high-fives.

Ashlee, Ty, and Raiden live in Utah, but we were blessed to have them with us for Thanksgiving this year. Mommy and Aunt Ashlee talk a lot since Raiden will be just under a year older than you when you arrive. Aunt Ash gives mommy some pointers on how to handle some of the "joys" of being pregnant. I know your mommy finds comfort in her talks or texting sessions with Aunt Ash and I feel very blessed for that. Your Uncle Ty can teach you how to put the sleeper hold on someone better than anybody! And, Raiden will be your slightly older sidekick for years to come.

With all the blessings that Heavenly Father has bestowed upon me, there is one that is greater than any of them. Heavenly Father sent me an angel that you will call "Mommy". He sent me one of his most prized daughters to be my wife and the mother of my child (YOU!). What an amazing blessing it is to have her as my wife. And, what an amazing blessing, it will be to have you as my child! I want you to know just how much I love your mommy. She is very special to me.

Your mommy saved my life. She was there for me through thick and thin. You and her are the reason that I am here today. Heavenly Father had a greater calling for me than I could have EVER imagined. He called on my to be the husband to an angel and he also decided to let me be the father to one of his precious children. I don't know how I got so blessed, and I never feel like I deserve it...but, he knows what he is doing...so, I will just go with it.

Your mommy is a beautiful woman. She is a rare treasure in this world. There is a song that reminds me of your mommy that says "she is an angel sent from above" and I know that she was. I know that Heavenly Father knew that I needed her in my life. She makes me a better person. She makes my heart skip a beat. She makes me smile. She makes my life wonderful. She makes me happy. She makes me feel alive. And, most of all, she makes me feel loved. I love her with all my heart and soul. She owns my heart, much like you do. She is a gorgeous angel that I am blessed to call my wife. One day, you will either grow up to be like her or want to marry a woman like her. She is truly "One Of A Kind".

Soon...it will come quicker than we realize...you will be here and I will be able to hold you and kiss your little head. I cannot wait for that day, but for now, I will give your mommy's tummy a kiss for you!

I hope that we can be as good of parents to you as my parents have been to me. If there is one thing that my dad has taught me, it is to treat my wife and the mother of my child, the love of my life, with the utmost love and respect. She deserves the world and I strive everyday to give it to her. I love her very much and I need you to know how special she is to me. She will be as special to you as she is to me. Blessings like her do not come around often, so when they do, you hold them tight, cherish them, and never let them go. I love her and I love you!

Love Daddy

Good Times...

Dear Baby Barrow,

At the beginning of 2011, your Uncle B joined the Army Reserves to serve our wonderful nation. During that time, when Aunt Riss was working, your mommy and I would watch Kennedy & Shane. We did all sorts of fun activities. We went to feed the fish at the lake, the circus, the Shark Reef, the Secret Garden, the park, and tons of other fun places. As I spent time with them each week, I could help but want a child of my own to spend time with.

I cannot wait until you arrive, so we can have great times doing all sorts of fun stuff. I am so excited to be your dad. Your cousins are excited too. They cannot wait to go do fun stuff with you.

I love you!
Love Daddy

Always A Reminder...

Dear Baby Barrow,

When mommy told me she was pregnant with you, she gave me a little pair of Jordan's as a surprise. These shoes will always be a reminder to me of the day I found out you were coming. They will also always make me think of you when I see them.

I decided to hang them from the rearview mirror of my car, so that everyday when I am driving to and from work, I can remember the moment I found out you would be coming. It also helps me to remember why I work so hard for our family.

Everytime I see those shoes hanging from my mirror, I think of you and a smile comes to my face. You also help to remind me to wear my seatbelt and drive safe because I have more than just myself to take care of.

These shoes will ALWAYS remind me of you and everytime I see them...I smile.

Love Daddy

Beat of the Heart....

Dear Baby Barrow,

The past week has been very busy for your mommy and you. This week is the 6th week that your mommy has been pregnant with you. Some amazing things are happening. This week, your heart begins to beat! I cried a little when I read that and I cried a little more when I wrote that. You heart is officially beating. You are only as big as a grain of rice this week, but the most important part of you is beginning to work today. I cannot wait until I can hear your little heartbeat for the first time. I cannot with until I can hold you and feel your heartbeat. It is incredible to think that you are growing inside your mommy right now. Two hearts beating together.

"A baby fills a place in your heart you never knew was empty."
-Unknown

Even though you are not here yet, just knowing that you are growing has brought a change to my life. You have already filled my heart with so much love that "you filled a place in my heart that I never knew was empty". And, I will be forever grateful to you for that.

Love Daddy

Dad Life...

Dear Baby Barrow,

The past few days have been a joyous blur. We have shared the wonderful news of you with several family members and everyone is so excited for you to arrive. Even though it is quite a while away, the time will fly by faster than any of us realize. We also told some of our closest friends and they cannot wait to meet you. You already have quite a fan club and you aren't even here yet. But, you are already the center of attention. If you are like your mommy, that will continue on forever.

This past weekend, we spent time at daddy's company picnic. It is a big event and pretty fun to go to. Mommy and daddy went along with our friend, Jonas. The picnic is a family event and there are lots of things for kids to do. They had a pumpkin patch, face painting, games, and more. As I sat there eating my lunch, I couldn't stop thinking about how excited I was that you are coming to us soon. I can't wait to take you to events like these. I cannot wait to see you smile and watch you play. I cannot wait to see the joy that you experience in your life. And, I cannot wait to add to that joy. You have already brought more happiness to your mommy and me than you could ever imagine.

After our picnic, we went over to our friend's house, The Erickson's (Britney and Dustin). I think you will like them. Your mommy does. And, I guess I do too. Alright, they are pretty cool people. While we were there, the girls went upstairs. Daddy and his friends were watching sports downstairs while the girls were upstairs talking. All of the sudden, a bunch of loud excited screams came from up there. Your mommy told some of her friend's that you were coming and they were so happy. You are very loved already and have a lot of people eager to see you and hold you when you leave Heavenly Father to see us. I still cannot believe that Heavenly Father is sending you to me. But, I am so excited that he is. I feel so blessed.

I cannot wait to live the Dad Life. I cannot wait to have you depend on me. I cannot wait to hold you in my arms, to make you feel safe, and to be there for you.

Since Mommy told Britney that you were coming, she sent me a message on Facebook the next day. She told me how happy she was for us that you were coming. And, she sent me this video called "Dad Life". And, after watching it, I cannot wait for the Dad Life to begin.

I showed this video to your Papi and Uncle B a few months ago. Your Uncle B definitely thinks that nobody on the Weber does it better. He is the "King of the Coals". Papi and Uncle B have taught me a lot about the Dad Life. They have shown me how to be a great dad. I am striving hard to be ready to be a good dad when you arrive.

At any rate, I am ready for the Dad Life to begin with you as my child.

I love you so much!

Love Daddy

Sharing The Joy...

Dear Baby Barrow,

Whew! Whoa! Wow!

Where should I even begin?!! The past 24 hours have been a whirlwind of excitement. I still cannot believe that in some 36 weeks you will be in my arms. Give or take some time depending on who you take after. If you wanted to get a head start like me, you will be out in like 33 weeks. Or, you can be stubborn like your mommy. As long as you are healthy, you can come whenever you want. I will be waiting excitedly for you to arrive. I am trying to be patient, but that doesn't always work!

One of the greatest parts of knowing that you are coming to be part of our family is sharing the news with all our family and friends. We are not sharing the news with everyone yet as we want to make sure you are doing well before we tell them you are coming! However, last night, we were able to break the news with some very important people who already love you very much. We got to tell some people who are just going to adore you, spoil you, and love you with all their hearts. Just as we are VERY lucky to have you coming into our lives, you are VERY lucky to be coming into such an amazing family. This family has always been there for me, loved me unconditionally, and saved my life. They are eager to meet you, to hold you, and to love you more than you can imagine.

Last night, we shared the news of you coming to join our family with Mema and Tutu and Nana and Papi. What amazing moments those were...but you know that because you were there. It may have been a little difficult for you to hear because you were in your Momma's tummy. So, I will clear up the details for you.

After your mommy surprised me with the news, she wanted to share it with the very special people in our lives. So, we jumped in the car and drove to her Mommy's house. The whole ride there, mommy and daddy held hands tight and talked about you. We cried because we were so happy. When we got to Mema's house, your mommy was very excited. She could barely contain herself. We went inside and Mema and Tutu were sitting on the couch. We surprised them because they didn't know we were coming. Little did they know, we were about to knock their socks off! I do not know if they were actually wearing socks, but if they were, they were definitely about to blown off.

Mommy made them think that we were just there to pick up some coupons. And, that is completely believable because your mommy likes to shop. I will mention that fact a lot from now until the time you are here. And, I will mention it even more after you arrive. We talked with Mema and Tutu, and they didn't even know that they were about to get hit with some big news. The big news would transform them from Paula and Lee to Mema and Tutu. Mommy told her momma that she had a present for her. She handed her a picture frame with a special message inside it. It went a little something like this...

Mema read the framed picture out loud and as she got to the end, her voice started to quiver with excitement. Tears filled her pretty eyes and she asked if we were trying to tell her something. She knew the answer but she wanted to hear your mommy say it. Your mommy jumped out of her seat like a rocket and excitedly told them that we were going to have a baby. She told them that you would be coming soon. Mema was so excited. Tutu jumped up and started hugging us. Tears filled her eyes and she was smiling her big beautiful Hawaiian smile. You are Mema's first grandchild and she has been waiting for you for a long time now. She has been telling your daddy he needed to make a spot for you. Well, that part of the job is done. Now, we are just excitedly awaiting your arrival. Everyone was crying and hugging and just so happy that you were going to be joining our family.

Next, we needed to go talk to Nana and Papi. Nana and Papi have officially earned their names. You have three cousins that are here waiting for you that call them Nanie and Papi. Kennedy is the oldest grandchild. She is 6 years old. She is getting so big and she will be ready to baby sit you when you arrive. Shane is the second grandchild. He is 3 and can teach you everything you need to know about Pirates and iPhones. He will train you on Angry Birds and the Moron Test. And, if you have any tech questions, he can help you out. The third grandchild is Raiden. He is the newest addition. The Lightning God is a good ally to align yourself with. He fights against Outer Realms in Mortal Kombat. So, unless we decide to name you Sub Zero, Scorpion, or Shang Tsung...you two should get along nicely. You will be the fourth grandchild to Nanie and Papi.

We went over to their house and they thought we were just there to drop off yard sale stuff. You see, your mommy and daddy are very sneaky. We are like Ninjas. And, Nanie and Papi underestimated our sneakiness. They were about to get blindside and they didn't expect a thing. To announce your arrival to Nana, we had gotten her a special present. We had just been to Disneyland and Nanie's favorite character is the Fairy Godmother from Cinderella.

I think Nanie is a lot like the Fairy Godmother. She is an amazing, beautiful woman that will do absolutely anything for you. She is so loving. She is so kind. She is so generous. She will do anything that she can to help you and make sure you are happy. Just like the Fairy Godmother in Cinderella, she will always be there for you. She is an amazing person and you are lucky to have her. She is my mommy and I love her very much. I am very lucky to have her as my mom, and you are very lucky to have her as your grandma. Kennedy calls her the Fairy Godmother because she is beautiful, amazing, and wonderful just like the character in the movie.

At Disneyland, we had a real Disney artist create an original piece of artwork. There is only one like this in the WHOLE ENTIRE WORLD. It is a piece that will bind Nanie and you forever. We watched the artist as he sketched a picture of the Fairy Godmother and it was amazing. On it, we had him write, "Congratulations Nana, 2012". Below is a picture of the Fairy Godmother. This isn't the same one as the one we got her. We will post a new picture as soon as we take one the picture that will forever remind her of you and the night we told her you were coming.

When we got to Nana and Papi's house, we talked to them about the yard sale and then it was time for the ultimate surprise. I told Nanie that we had a present for her and she was very surprised. I handed her the picture and she immediately got very excited. She loved it. But, then she started to read the message with the picture and her eyes started to fill with tears. As they did, I said, "we're going to have a baby". And, with that, the excitement and tears began. Your Nana was so happy.

But, the reaction that I will never forgot was the reaction of your Papi. As your Papi heard that you would be coming to us, tears filled his eyes. An amazing look of joy, pride, and gratitude showed on his face. He looked upwards a little bit as if he were looking up at you in Heaven and thanking our Heavenly Father at the same time. It was indescribable. I will never forget that look. I wish we had been recording it so you could see the look on your Papi's face. It was truly amazing. A once in a lifetime look.

Everyone was so excited that yo would coming soon. Everyone was so eager to love you, to hold you, and to be part of your life. You are already loved so much and that love will only grow.

In the words of Papi, "We were about to embark in a life changing journey." And, at that moment, I couldn't wait for the ride to begin.

Love Daddy

The News...

Dear Baby Barrow,
Today was one of the greatest days of my life. October 14, 2011, is a day I will never forget. Do you know why?

It is because today was the day that I learned YOU were going to be part of our little family. Today was the day, I found out that I was going to be a daddy. I have wanted to be a daddy for a long time, but you scared me a little bit. But, even though, I was a little scared...I AM SUPER HAPPY and EXCITED to be able to meet you soon.

Your beautiful mommy, she is quite amazing, told me that you were inside her tummy. She may not be as cool or as funny as your old man, but she is much easier on the eyes and she knows much more about squishy little people like you. She has wanted you for a VERY long time. She has prayed for you, she has asked for you, and she has thought about you long before we ever knew you were coming. She cried a lot of happy tears the day she found out you would be coming.

I came from work today after a long day at the office. I was very tired because some days daddy (wow, I am your daddy...incredible) works a lot of hours. I was sitting on my bed and mommy came home from shopping. Mommy likes to shop, but you will learn that soon enough. That is why daddy has to work long hours, just kidding! Anyways, your mommy came in and I could tell she wanted to tell me something. She was beaming. Something was different about her. She smiled a huge smile and handed me a present. When I opened it, I found a pair of Baby Jordan's. I had these same shoes when I was in middle school.

Your mommy started crying because she was so happy and she gave me a big kiss and hug. As I held her, I started to cry as I felt her trembling with excitment. Her heart was pounding so hard. She couldn't stop smiling. We were so happy to know you were coming to be with us soon. We couldn't wait.

Just to prove that she really was pregnant with you, your mom showed me her pregnacy tests. I call them "pee sticks". Don't say that, you may get in trouble with your mommy. You probably shouldn't say a lot of things I do, but I will be better when you get here.

We are a little sideways.

I cannot wait to hold you in my arms, have you wake me up at 3 a.m., and leave me little presents in your diaper. I cannot wait to kiss you, to hold you hand, and to take you to the park. I cannot wait until your first day of school, your first event (sporting, dance, whatever it is you like), your first date, your first car. Well, maybe we can wait on the car. You are going to be EXPENSIVE...just like your momma. I cannot wait until your high school graduation, your first day of college, your wedding, and your first child. And, at the moment, you will feel all the amazing emotions that I am feeling right now. Oh, and do not forget all the days and nights in between. They will be amazing moments and you will have an incredible life with a loving family. I cannot wait to share little and big moments with you. I love you so much already!

"I haven't even heard you cry and you've already changed my life."

Love Daddy

"I Haven't Even Heard You Cry" by Aaron Lines
"Well I don't drive through the night these days
It's just not a chance I'm willing to take
And I don't spend my money foolishly
Cause there's important things that you're gonna need
You already got a hold on me"

"And I haven't even heard you cry
I haven't even looked into your eyes
I haven't held you one time but you've changed my life
And I don't even know your name
But I know I'll never be the same
Oh I can't wait to show you you can fly
And I haven't even heard you cry"

"You might look like your mom, you might look like me
I don't really care as long as you're healthy
And I'll make mistakes there's no doubt
But loves one thing you won't live without
Cause you own a place in my heart now"

"And I haven't even heard you cry
I haven't even looked into your eyes
I haven't held you one time but you've changed my life
And I don't even know your name
But I know I'll never be the same
Oh I can't wait to show you you can fly
And I haven't even heard you cry"

"Well I don't even know your name
But I know I'll never be the same
Oh I can't wait to show you you can fly
I'm thinking about first steps and bike rides
And I haven't even heard you cry"

A New Purpose...

As my life is reaching one its ultimate high points, I wanted to document important events and share my thoughts regarding those events with family and friends. Throughout my life, I have kept a journal off and on. However, I have never kept a journal for a long amount of time. Without writing about certain events in my life, those memories become foggy, disoriented, or completely lost. I always prided myself on my memory, but I have forgotten some of the details of some of the most important events on my life. I have forgotten about moments in high school and college. I have forgotten details about my bout with serious depression. I have forgotten little details about my wedding to my beautiful wife. Countless little details have been lost since they were not written down. I do not want this to happen again. To rectify this, I have created this “blog”.

This “blog” will be a little different than most. The “blog” is dedicated and for my unborn child. I want to share my thoughts, feelings, and insight with my child. One day, I will share the words written here with my child. I want my child to know how happy I was to know he/she was coming. I want my kid to know what I was thinking when I found out Meagan was pregnant. I want him/her to know how I felt when I saw the first ultrasound. I want him/her to understand just how much love I have for him/her. I would like for my child to be able to know just how happy I am to be his/her daddy.

I am excited to start this project. It will be ongoing. I plan on writing at least once a week, and I want to write long after my child is born. I will share pictures and videos also. Please feel free to share my blog with friends and family. Please feel free to leave comments and suggestions.

The writings will contain some of my most intimate thoughts about becoming a father, and I am so glad that all of you are along for the ride. I cannot wait to be a daddy.

“Any fool can make a baby, but it takes a man to raise a child.” –Aaron Lewis